so it happens. people die. some too early, some too late. does it even matter when?
life’s full of ups and downs. i didn’t get to experience the best things in life. to get a child. to love someone so deeply, that you know it’s him you want to spend the rest of your life with.
but not the worst either. to loose someone close to you. to get hurt deeply in your heart.
so it’s actually okay. life's the best, but also the worst. i loved it.
Being sad as I am
Became comfortable around your sadness
We shared a similar outlook on life
We both smiled in public
Broke down in private
We both wait for our own death
Just so we wont have to deal with life
And the torture we both are put in
I sometimes believe I have more hope than you
Then I get to this point and I understand
It's just my mask
The mask I put so others wont ask questions
You only wear your mask for strangers
I wear my mask for almost everyone
So yes I loved you
But you started to add more pain
than sympathize with my own
When you decided to make me wait
For a day that will never come
...and when I finally showed up
and went into my mother's last room in the ICU
as the fluids were still clotting in their tubing
and the machinery of life was silent,
the necrosis lingered.
Her knitting was sitting to one side
with many loose ends
I may loose my everything for you,
My heart may break and I will cry for you,
I may get pain and I may die for you,
Remember still I want you
My Honey I love you.
I may not get your arms to rest,
I may not get you at your best,
I may have to give every test,
My conditions may get worst,
Remember still I want you
My Honey I love you.
Not only heart, I may have to give my flesh for you,
I may remain alone, I may get destroyed for you,
I may not get rid of the chains of pain for you,
Remember still I want you,
Day and night I will pray for you,
My Honey I Love you.
Behind the narcotic haze,
can you even see yourself?
Can you recognize yourself,
under all the scars and smoke?
Can you sort something other,
than the pills you've taken?
Or filter out something,
other than you booze you're drinking?
Can you say with one hundred percent conviction,
that this is better this way?
Can you say without any ounce of future contradiction,
that you'll never see better days outside your drug-induced-haze?
blending with empty smiles..
is the indifferent, callous, leering, and charred remains of a heart.
One covered in diamonds in gold,
now singed ad cracked,
constantly under attack..
Finally you have come to realize,
that nothing else remains.
My name is Chris
I avoid obvious rhymes
and give you just the rancid;
'We feel you have not been communicating
effectively as an employee'
So to you I said 'I'm ill'
'Care to spill?' she hisses.
'Yes' I said
My names the one burning brightly up there in the corner of the room,
'Prince and King Godber'
bearing wooden sign carved by the passion of a Norse god,
a bearded dwarf on a throne.
simple, penile, surreal metaphors notwithstanding I ain't slept...
Small cock? Na cock, but let's not go into it tonight,
In her dreams he's laid with a woman, wept weeping eyes, distant stare, destroyer of hope, Eastern European,a broken painter cheating,
but he didn't know till it was too late.
The Sun became black
The full moon became blood
the great mountain ran with fire
Pain. Passion, Nighttime.
'Do what thou Wilt' says the bald man and shrugs, setting a bomb off in the 20th century.
I did, I do, I do - boom boom. no one laughs.
She shouts angrily Fool, Coward, Prince
Why don't you just come dance outside
stroke away those cobwebs in your hair
so I did, ripped the cobwebs out
screamed outside, bashed my head
on concrete, tried to kill myself
once, maybe twice,
Like Virginia my hidden idol. My sister in censured pain.
Knees bashed, half-cut in dead of night screaming fuck this
provincial slaughterhouse, this cherryhouse
of the half dead / half pissed,
merry go round and round, like Kereouc,
but twice as merry, and that's saying something.
Come and bathe yourself in my immortal quim, she bleats
'look it up in your encyclopedia of shames'
you'll just find a picture of a woman.
It's intoned meaning
lips tell tales,
tell them then. I dare yer to tell em.
Scream them from rooftops.
screaming eyes aglow, burning Blake fire
poet looks down with lizard eyes
you remind me of me Mum naked.
Puke. Puke, vomit on the doormat.
Violence in words,
this language is obscene
and that is why
he said she said
is gonna kill us.
Fuck it, fancy overdosing yourself on abilify tonight poet?
Not a plan. Not a plan. Don't go out drowning
yourself in alcohol or life, not tonight, not tonight.
In one sense a poem about intense conflict, in another a poem about moving forward and learning to accept my own weaknesses.
The use of graphic strong words and language is just there to emphasise the game that is at play within the words, namely the games men and woman play with each other through life to destroy each other, metaphorically., I hope if needs moderating that this is understood.