I think it's about time I
faced all of my devils
that I buried so deep.
I think it's about time I
woke up from this slumber
I have cast upon myself.
The man in the mirror is
so different from the man
I have always strove to be.
I'm done with maybe's
& want to's
& wish I's
& just am's
I'm going to accept the darker
pieces of my soul I kept locked
and buried away.
I lose myself in my lusts
but I never lose my care
for those who I love.
I get swallowed up in
agonies too great to understand
but I never will end it all.
I have the greatest
friends in the world
who understand why.
Thank you all for your
love and support you give
for forgiving me when I get carried away.
I hate counting the days off that you've been gone from my life. I don't have any more ways to say I miss you. There's no more ways for me to say I still love you.
I saw you on Xbox live the other day. First chance to talk to you since that we were torn apart by misunderstanding. I wanted to say so much more than hello, to say I still burn for you just like our first time.
But I was scared. I don't know if you miss me. I don't know if you need me the way I want you. The silence is agonizing and it's not getting any better, Queen.
I want to talk to you. I want to cuddle with you and kiss your forehead like I used to do every night. We'd stare in each other's eyes and we didn't even have to make love. We knew we were there for each other. We loved. We loved until it hurt and kept loving because... it was us.
I don't want to say goodbye to you. I'll keep marking the days with notches until you come back... I miss you.
You're my Sparkle of Gold. You're my Queen.
Do you not feel me bleeding out?
I know guys aren't exactly your thing and I understand why.
I mean, in case you didn't notice, girls are really attractive!
So that leaves us in an awkward position, so let me explain
all the details in my heart to show you this will work.
You see I love you just the way you are. I love you just as you love girls.
I'm not going to try and change you, because then you wouldn't be you. I want to see you grow as you are, not how you "should."
I want to be close to your heart and make you feel secure.
To hold your soul just when our eyes lock.
It's okay for you to be with other girls, I don't care.
Maybe one night we'll spark and make love
and I hope you won't care that I'm a guy
who lacks the curves you love to hold.
I hope you understand your sexuality doesn't mean I love you any less.
I just want
I'm willing to sacrifice for love when I know it's real... just so you know...
I don't know how to keep going on
I can't open up to anybody
They can get into some rooms
but I lock up parts of me
Isolated and dusty
I'm an island sinking into the depths
Of my sin, of my despair
I used to have a lot of friends
Now so very few are left
I hurt most of them right in the heart
I never intended to harm them
Haha, look at all the I's I have in this poem
Just so self-centered...
I never meant you any harm
Family matters the most to me
Then why do I take you for granted?
I'm sorry, I'm saying I'm sorry a lot lately
The weight of what I've lost is crushing me
Irony of something you don't have killing you
Hey, that's just how I'm going to die...
I'm so sorry I lost you
I never meant to lose you
I love you beyond measure
Why haven't you come back?
I saw you from afar
I didn't know if I should say
I'm so sorry...
please come back
some days we shine bright
some days we're not right
i've given you my heart
let's make another start
missing you has never been
i know there's fear here
but i will always be near
in my arms you won't fall
we will always stand tall
missing you has never been
you were ripped away
& i can't just magically
be okay with that
boy meets girl
girl meets boy
boy falls in love
girl doesn't know
boy tells girl
girl gets scared
boy is always there
girl just doesn't care
boy gets wounded, starts shutting her out
girl wants to be close, gets hurt by the wall
boy suffers guilt from hurting her
girl suffers guilt from hurting him
boy can't stop loving her
she can't stop being afraid
round and round they go
in circles they orbit
boy wants to let her go but can't
girl just wants to find real love
boy ends it all because love just hurt too much
girl finally opened her eyes and saw love was always there for her
it's time to
get lost in the moment
let whatever falls fall
don't worry about
picking up the pieces
get lost in the moment &
take every day away
take the past away
& get lost in the moment
here & now just you and I
forget what's broken &
what never will be
what never has been
will always be now
love & get
lost in the
Lately I've been struggling to look Up
My faith is fracturing, not reflecting
I know God is just sharpening me up
To be the warrior that He's called me to be
In order to do that He's inflicting the pain
But I'm trying to handle it in a fleshly way
I'm trying to say I'm sorry for getting so consumed
By all this hurt that I don't know how to let go of
I'd rather hang onto it and then blame You
Take it out of Your hands and lose my way
Lord I don't know what to do anymore
I'm angry at You for all the things I do
I'm so sorry, I never meant to become this way
I hate the fact You died so I couldn't condemn myself
God, please don't ever take away the anger I have
I just pray You show me how to redirect it away from You and myself
I pray you don't take my pain away, but allow me to endure it
Give me the strength to crucify myself and the demons in my head
Please let me trust in You again, because I know there's no other than You.