i've been told that i come off as cold, or intimidating.
it's a defense mechanism, like an alligator. or a porcupine.
i know how bad this world is, and i'm not about to fall in it's trap by being nice to everyone.
that's why i come off cold.
i will not surrender.
but i am the nicest person you'll ever meet.
i am smart, i know my way around the world.
but i am only 19. i am only human. these things that make me who i am are just as important as i portray myself.
i am just a girl, with big blue eyes and long hair.
i am a girl with long nails and i will not hesitate to rip anyone who hurts me apart.
because i am not going to stand on the edge and let myself be pushed over it anymore.
i am a girl with a loud mind, and a voice. and i won't hesitate to use it.
i am a girl with big dreams, and an amazing imagination.
i am a girl with good intentions and a golden heart.
i am a girl with fire in my veins, and a hurricane in my stomach.
i am who i am, i am not going to tear myself apart after so much building.
When I was young they had no faces
Smooth as nog
Strain to convince
Me or you
To run from hurricane fire inside
The walls of that house
Carry on austere reflection
We are crystallic
All their irises
Of course I have known what you are doing
Avoided that gaze
There are more vital veins I am satisfied
But must I wake you to shake you?
Or is it I who
Becomes the ascetic?
A breathe of fresh air
Or a simple breeze
But when Doris is scorned
She will strike with ease
Tearing a path through a well planned day
Ripping apart that what gets in the way
There is no mercy, no leeway or pity
An invisible force, she can level a city
Wreaking havoc and damage untold
No heed for the stupid, the brave or the bold
Sunshine pouring through the window
Better days ahead
Warm winds are blowing now
Nothing left to dread
Weather can change at anytime
Must stay vigilant
For if there is a hurricane
I'll have no incident
Right now shine down upon me
I will soak it in
For right now we're happy
I don't want it to end
Earlier today, I saw a blurb about how this girl wishes
she could write the way that she thinks.
But especially her “you”.
But I can.
I can write what, and how, I think.
I can write about it until I’m blue.
I can even write every single feeling
I feel about my “you”.
But I choose not to.
Because nobody wants to know
how girls like me think.
And nobody wants my “you”,
embodied over and over again in ink.
Gets old, don’t you think?
So I stay silent and still,
and let every single word sink.
do you see how you destroyed
the ruins of an eccentric critter
making use of what's left
she was trying to rebuild a city
during the weekday hurricane
that never stopped
it just gets stronger and stronger
do you know what kind
of critter i am? do you have an idea
of how i adore the horizon
and how i loathe its existence
for i lost during its time
of how i loved staying up at 3am
but it haunted me after september?
you wouldn't know what's hidden
beneath the cracks of my white walls
or under my soiled sheets
i am a detonated bomb
an overflowing dam of heartache
or an active volcano
that could no longer be contained
but i have creative ways
to make room for more
you don't know what's under my bed
and how it scares me every night
you don't know how i tried to love
everything that's left
you don't know how i fought
the whirlpool in the green lake
and you would never know
how i swam against the current
i thought you were my other half
an extension of my left limb
and both legs
but it was on my list
of infinite regret
the city was fine
until you decided to stay
and midnight witchcraft
that makes the night wolves
howl in the full moonlight
but, do you see it?
we just lost a paramount element
in the parallel connection that we have
and dear, im afraid we might lose that, too
You can see me coming,
But you do not leave.
I am a hurricane.
Dappled clouds, a calm feigned,
Turn to gales and salted rain.
A short reprieve,
Only long enough to breathe.
Then boomerang winds,
And more unfortunate sins.
I am the hurricane.
I will try not to hurt you,
But I am a hurricane.
Prepare for a storm.