The majority of my life
I was dependent on things
wether it was adults from youth
or the insecurities they nurtured
Both led to dependency on
many different types of abuse
All the bad examples, advice
and role models led straight to
the bad vices such as alcohol and drug abuse in my attempts to numb the pain, in an attempt to stop the strain, in an attempt to clear my brain but all I accomplished was more falseness to further nurture more pain within myself and pain to be brought onto others
Many loved ones lost the cost of not handling my business and delaying the inevitable because eventually there’s no running from the reality of what’s going on, no escape from the hate that resides in my mind, no liquid, no pill, no plant, no substance that could prevent me from knowing the TRUTH
A lesson I learned very late but one must trust the teacher brave enough to venture to the dark side long enough to share the light, She did that for me and I took it for granted, her skies became of the darkest amidst her life while trying to help me help myself survive, She wasn’t just a loved one but most definitely the “Love Of My Life” Her presence created change that never ever would’ve been resurrected
A lifeless lifetime victim was the path that I was traveling
Her love stopped my destiny
DEAD IN IT’S TRACKS
Dead our relationship became
That was the final blow
that it took, for me to look
in the mirror and realize it was
ME and not HER
We’re separated now
PHYSICALLY
But never were we
MENTALLY
Ups and downs
Higher than NASA has been
and lower than the equator
We’ve been through them all
Seconds seemed like years
since we have been apart
Years seemed like milliseconds
when she was in my arms
I know how to change that now
We desire to be together now
With many undetermined pieces to an eternal puzzle of happiness, we just have a couple more variables to figure out ( light at the end of the tunnel) It wasn’t until I became independent that I could cherish what it means to be dependent
Independency should never not be an option and dependency should never be a necessity
When the insecurities were addressed, dissected, studied
and let go of.... FADED
Is when it became apparent the lessons she created that I so hated then but now know the love that would be granted from the POWER OF GROWTH
The result : a better man
the result : a better father
the result: a better son
the result: a rekindled love
the result: the return of my love
INDEPENDENCE isn’t just about being free from others hands but also being free from yourself as well
We can be our own worse enemy, we can be our own culprit and we can make ourselves victims
OR
We can be our own best friend, we can be honest with ourselves and we can create CHANGE
