It's right after I wrote your message
That I had to write this here
Please know I dont hightlight tragedy
But this page, is full of fear...

It's also full of a bunch of NEXT ****T

To single out fear is but a guise!
one written so as to throw you off,
In hopes that you realize
That I write for more than just
Some cathartic sort of prize

It's a vehicle, A medium
unique as song and dance-
Like water color or oil paints
The rhythmic rhymes entrance

what can be classified
as romantic?
do both parties partially understand
the mechanics
of exchange, its similies and subtleties
or worse,
the nature of its never-stagnant
recourse?

of course, as a writer myself,
one could
always find the answer
but would
never find the perfect example
as if
the mere combination of a couple
letters of

would fit your needs as well as mine
but
nonetheless, my friend, we all
know the
answer, somewhere, and I'd like
to believe
that the person you'd write to
knows that too.

More and more, we speak picture
language with digital icons of Home
Heart (in the colour of the moment)
Envelope, Clock, Arrow and Bin

but icons of paint and blood travel
with us in their world of gold leaf
as portraits of the life
we like to live

thoughtful and attentive
like a ***** bird
showing its feathers

and not camouflaging itself
in the attire of its neighbours
colleagues or pictograms

My very best friends,

my model, have gone apart --


A wrong miracle.

Look at a hero

of old, his statue, ah, such a --


misunderstanding!

It seems crazy
To change something
Thats working
The horse and buggy
Was working
It seemed crazy
To stop using that

But then they
developed the car and..
Well that destroyed the planet..

So that's a bad example

I have always been the sweet charm and favorite of all people at home,
But, there always comes a but,
But I am "the girl" I must understand,
But I am "the eldest"  I must know,
But I am "the quietest" I must be smart,
But I am "the senior" I must set good example,
And in this series of But and examples I managed  to keep my dream and passion to myself in order to be perfect for my younger,
But I always sit and wonder
Am I really good?
Or am I teaching my youngers to be fake?
Am I really setting an good example?
Or am I setting an example of being what others except you to be?
What if I am the worst?
What if they found out that I am FAKE?
Will I'd be the perfect person then?

The most luminous example of a fallen angel
An ignored history.. A need for attention..
We define The Humanity Problem globally..

Let me enter the mind of a killer
Let me learn from within the mind of a saint
I will calculate the sociology 
The norms killing our psychology 
With pad and pen as my everlasting friend..

I want to burn in hells 
I seek to bask in heavens

Show me the soul in my eyes
Weathering through a common storm..

People will find the real normal..
If they love themselves and help others..

It should be an oddity to erase normality 
And so it exists only as a common standard..
That is how I grew up..

What if we ended expectations?
What if we embraced change?
Compassion could be a global comeback..

There is a nature in duality..
Humans engraved into double-edged swords..

If we could create love and war..
We may be able to end our battles..
We could live with evidence and compassion..

Ending our need to be beautiful, better or rich

As an American.. I am built of guilt
I suffer..

I displayed kindness, love and compassion 
I valued evidence over assumption
Pointed out an economy of overconsumption

Only to be labeled as..

'Sheep'
'Idealistic'

So.. to my fellow kinsmen and women..

Open up a dictionary..

If I am a sheep..
We as a whole are not shephards..

Who do you look for to guide you?
Isn't America obviously lost?

We are defined as sheep by a globe called Earth

Currently? Like it or not.. They're right..

I am not powerful
I am weak

Despite the ego of America.. I am no sherpah..
I am no sheep..
I will never be a shephard..
I will only ever be me..
Think of you when at your happiest..
Revel in the lessons of how that was stolen..

It will be Hell..
I'll be blunt with that fact..

Want peace? Face it.
Face you. 
Deflate all of your ego.

We need to bring back who we were long ago..

We need to care and foster Hope..

Eradicate foolish hate..
Value intelligence and knowledge..

Divided we are destined to **** and die..

But.. United?
We could be a beacon of hope..

A beacon brighter than God, who we're under

An American Beauty..
That has shed her mistakes..

To let go..

Of her American Ego..