Try your best
To remain unfazed
The world will test
You, leave you dazed
But you don’t have to change
In order to be free
Compromise or rearrange,
Who you want to be
Wear your heart on your sleeve
And embrace the pain
Dream a dream, make-believe,
And cast away disdain

if you talk
about it
they'll tell you
its just a case
of centring yourself
before
it builds up;
placing yourself
in the moment
and understanding
what cannot be changed

except
there is
no progression
no steady curve
it goes from
a carefully traced line
to a scratched
scrawling scribble
that tears
through leaf
after leaf
of paper
whether the message
is legible
or not

apparently
        its simple;
in that split second
between empathy
        and apathy
before the destruction
of everything
outweighs
the strength
of all
that has been
accomplished
i simply need
to breath deep
and
count
           to
                ten

i'm still waiting
to be told
what to do
when my count
reaches ten
and
i'm still
angry

My life has been a downward spiral
The path is full of disdain and misery
The motion makes me sick
The darkness makes me sicker
And I’m afraid I’m on my way to my own destruction

Were I to dwell a day

in the den of my enemies.



What would we say

of the corpses they ******

and threw in the corner?



Their history torn to ribbons

and chained to the same toilets

from which they garner

their greatest thoughts and values.



How many burning crosses

would dawn their books?



How many hoods for the wash?



Who-


pray-tell



does the washing?



The husks of flesh cut into pounds

festering on a shelf somewhere.


Once colored and cultured,

now decaying,

both in smell and in sight.



All by design.



At an oaken feasting table.



I see them eat the termites

as appetizers.



So many holes, it looks like dry split bone.



Some monstrous creature

that never had blood to spill.



From the corner of their slack jawed mouths

I see the wine swish
and drip
and drench.



They talk about Andrew Jackson
 and the Civil War.



As I fight the urge

to light myself on fire.

Tonight
It comes down
The rain
The steel crisp blue rain
Puddles block my journey
The ground now laced in murky mud
One slip
And then that's it

Tonight
Pain comes down
DIsdain
Self induced rage pain
Lays me on life's gurney
To the hospital of broken souls
Mine's shattered
And that's it

Tonight
He comes down
The Blue Haired Monster
To revive pain for longer
I don't think I can keep swimming
Away
That's it

Tonight
Somebody loves me
The rain
The disdain
The Blue Monster's pain
They're all gone
No they're not
They'll always be there
But someday, they'll be smaller
And that's all she wrote

Hollowed corpses
Left on hallowed ground,
Lacking the depth
Of what was once profound.

Rip my heart to shreds
As your empty words
Entomb me.

For your light is-
dark

The love in you-
tainted

And your soul...
gone.

Perched before the mirror,
my eyes open to see
the greatest of loves there in front of me

With a smile, a chuckle,
a nod and a wink
I’m falling in love above my bathroom sink

My ocular captions
are fixed in a gaze
and neither denies
our lust-worthy ways
Never before
have I seen such a marvel
Brought almost to awe
yet I recant such sparkle

For my status is equal
or better than such
I say with full modesty
(as if I must)
The greatness exuded
Displayed on both sides
It is something that I
and the other can't hide

All of those who now know
and all those who shall see
will admire and greet us
down on bended knee
Consternation displayed
only to be outdone
by illustrious gestures
to this royal son

But enough of the rest,
there is just you and I
“All of those poor, poor people”,
we say with a sigh
They will truly not know
what it is to be us
When you don't have to worry
And don't have to fuss

This supremacy life
is a difficult one
My heart would feel pity,
(If I had one)
Instead it’s disgust,
disdain and the like
The fuel that's propelling me
forward with blithe

Still across from me now,
a reverent sight
Another near equal
and one who just might
be the only one worthy enough possibly
To stand here beside me for others to see

They think they all know
but know nothing they do
It's the jealousy had by them
for I and you
They’re like chlorophyllic plants
Dripping in so much envy
They try and they try;
They try to prevent me

From being the greatness
I know I can be
If just given a chance
Then perhaps they would see
But alas, in the end
it doesn't mean ****
What I care for is me
Only me
and that's it

Except my love for you
It's so deep can’t you see?
It is real
I can feel it
I truly believe
Only you I can trust
The one person who matters
The one I turn to
when life breaks and it shatters

All others are pawns
I can move on the board
Sacrificial pieces
for falling on swords
No dispute; I am king
Come stand here with me
It’s us versus them
And trust me they will see

It might not be today
It might not be tomorrow
But it will be soon
when they join me in sorrow
Make all of them pay
For what they’ve done to me
For the pain they’ve inflicted
Their fault, you will see

Anything that I do
Even though I will try
They keep holding me down
No idea; Don't know why
They are all out to get me
So plainly can see
But one thing you won't see
is not the last of me

Here, take my hand lover
and come with me now
We'll go out in the world
and together show how
Their pathetic existence
can benefit us
We may step on some ants
But there's no need to fuss

The hole that is empty
That is our damnation
Use things superficial
Instant gratification
It's a short-term "fix"
But will make-do for now
In our path, leave destruction
This much I will vow

Happiness, thoughtfulness
or concerned empathy
Some examples of words
unfamiliar to me
Therefore, no one can feel it
Must feel like I do
Only then I'm complete
Feeling I belong too