Bloated veins of caramelized blood
Stuck in molasses and gingerbread mud.
Gluttonous pain and syrupy pride
Saccharine tears from eyes swollen wide.

Your lips they taste like June
Your eyes are a rocket to the moon
More like the sea
Infinite and deep

I don’t believe that you’re from Earth
you’re from the sky,
past what we see of space,
From the heavens babe

You think you’re obsolete
I think you’re an angel
You could be
Fiery flames and all

That hair
Soft as snow
Bright as the sun
More Beautiful than anything
Then again, it belongs to you

High off your kiss
Just like absinthe
I crave more
Over and over
Magic of the moment
Or maybe it’s just you

I just want to be with you
Along for the ride
By your side
Whenever your soul takes you
I crave to follow
Mine embraces yours
Welcoming every single bit

I want the future
No
I need it
That house with the view
White fence family
Birds whistling the tune of our hearts
Our love
Our days
Our history
I crave to make more

Hold onto me
Each bear hug, squeeze, each grasp
A security blanket
The pain and anxiety fades away
A blank canvas ready for a painted heart
Smooth, but drawn on with a brittle battered brush
Maybe even broken
But no matter, it’s my favorite one
My only one
I see through the damage and look only for the color it strokes

Tape only works half the time
Comfort only applies pressure
But with love we can begin to heal
The wounds
A scratch or total break
The pain will fade
Only the past
Forced to fade away by the foundation for the future

Hold me
For each warm hug powers my day
Hold me
For the days without it are the worst days
Hold me
For with each embrace I can breath again
Eternally forced under the water
Under the pressure
Under the current, holding my breath

Stay
Stay
Stay

But no worries
If you don’t I completely understand
That’s fine
I’m fine
It’s all fine

But without you I’m not

If only the words that roll off my tongue
Or more my fingers
Could truly express the feelings
The thoughts
The love
Love
Woah.
I’m in love.

“The girl from Latin”
That’s what you say to me
“The girl that made my day better with a look”
You forget I was looking at you
“Never would’ve thought”
You smile to yourself
Well I never would’ve thought anyone
Anyone
Anyone would think of me in such a way
I’m that girl
That girl
Beautiful?
Smart?
Funny?
That’s what I was?
Is that me?
Couldn’t be
I believe you’ve made a mistake

I make your heart flutter?
Well honey
Just the thought of you is a migration of monarchs
The color of butterfly wings beat my heart
Battered
Bruised
Bleeding
What a beautiful feeling

I love you

What a beautiful phrase
Although
Every drop that falls from your mouth is beautiful
To me every drop forms a waterfall as it makes it’s way out
Pours
Soaking my soul

As life rushes past
Zoom
Each moment faster than last
But somehow
Better
Beautiful
Bewildering
Breathtaking
It must be you

All the highs
All the lows
All the needles
You put it aside for me
But it’s your life
It’s mine now too
Each meal
Each alert
Each injection
It’s on my mind too

My love for you
Is stronger than bricks
Has more value than gold
Diamonds
Power
A lock with no key
Although
You are the key
Perfectly fitting in a stubborn lock
Rusted but sturdy

The key fits
The door opens
A dark forest
Infinitely wide with no clear path
But through the darkness
Through brush and tangled vines
Through hopelessness and desire to turn back
A light can barely be seen

But you followed
Did not give up
Reached the edge
And through denseness concealment and intimidation
You found the light
The gold
The eternal brilliance
Something hidden
Yet more alluring and brilliant than anything before it
You found my soul
Hidden among the hideous
Thank you.

<3 > ^ v

Do we need to forbear (abstain)
from doing particular activities
to optimise our joy and happiness?
For example:
Do we need to forbear
from overeating
to prevent obesity and diabetes
and optimise our health, joy and happiness?
Do we need to forbear
from overindulging in alcohol
to prevent brain-damage and liver-damage
and optimise our health, joy and happiness?

What other activities
should we forbear from
to optimise our joy and happiness?

The calorie intake is high
Clouds of cotton candy
Diabetus, why do you exist?

I don’t have time
For this young man’s disease
They told me it was Type II, at first.
“The good one.”
The “one for fat people.”
Medical jargon.

Not even three months later.
“Your body is tearing itself apart.”

Type 1.
A1c.
Glucose monitor.
Metformin.
Spironolactone.
Crying.
Writing down numbers.
Going to doctors.
And a ***** on the finger
Two times a day.

And if that ***** is a little high, a little low, and not juuuuust right,
I take a pill.
And I turn a dial.
And I stick a needle in the part of my body I never want to pay attention to:
The fatty part.
And my mom calls me worried every day.


Counting carbs instead of calories
And trying to wake up early to do a half hour of yoga before life keeps spinning and spinning.
Trying to “meal prep.”
I rarely succeed.

I don’t usually tell the truth….
I’m doing better.
But Sometimes I forget on purpose.
Because it’s annoying.
And I’m tired.
And then I’m shaking
And then I’m hungry
And then I eat too much
And then I feel like ****
And then I have to walk
And then I run out of time
And then
And then
And then
And then
And if I could go back
And do it again
I’d probably eat all those fries

I’d like to tell future me that their success was a long time coming.

I’d like to tell past me to chill the **** out for a moment.

I’d like to tell now me that this wasn’t my fault.
Even if I don’t know if I believe that.