this gloomy,
sunshine.
these cloudy,
rays.
the softness in,
these Fall days.

Long, weary day
Drained my energy away
What am I to say,
On a long, gloomy day?

Friends, they bring cheer
Friends are always near
To the heart, and before me
Giving as much support as need be
Even literally

Carry me away
On this cloudy
Cloudy day
Carry me away
Away like the wind

Up into the air
Down unto the grass
Time so short, it almost isn’t fair
Yet the moment comes only to pass

Thrill of the unknown
Rise into steady arms
Spin and see the day gone by
Away like yesterday

The cheer of friends,
The joy that they bring
Into my step a spring
Into their caring arms

Away, away, carry me away
On this cloudy, perfect day
Once looked upon with dismay
Now this is what I say;

“This has truly been fun,
Even without the shining sun
You all brighten up my day
In my mind this day shall forever stay.”

- Jay M
September 24th, 2021

You were a drug to me, babe.
      You weren't the medicinal kind either.
                                          You weren't just a painkiller.
You weren't an antidepressant.
                                                     You weren't a Xanax.
                                                        You weren't ******.
You weren't even the good kind of drug.

                    You weren't ****** or **** or ecstasy.
You were the kind of drug that
                                           messed around with my heart and left my brain feeling clouded.
You were the kind of drug that left me confused and
                                                                               feeling worse than before I took you.
But I did.
Again and
again.
I told myself I would
break this vicious cycle of unscrewing your cap and
                                                                   hating myself for it afterwards.
That I wouldn't draw back the plunger and
                                                          force you into my veins anymore.
But I didn't.
Again and
again.

I told myself you
                                                would be the death of me.

Every high you gave me left me feeling
                                                                          lost in the clouds.

I might as well have been
                                    six feet deep.

grey misty haze
why pray for better days?
silver hues
lick moist air
in the beautiful world we share
puddles painted on the floor
revealing your unfocused stare
grey misty haze
tickling noses blue
should be enough
for you

My joints ache inside my body

Heart is pounding like a hammer in my chest

Veins are itching with emptiness

It is lonely without the company of chemicals to converse with my cloudy thoughts

Come home
Need you now more than ever

I am waiting for you to make me feel alright