Our love
Runs cold.
Memories of us
Now stale and old.
No word we utter
When coming home.
Just you and I,
In an empty lie,
Turning to stone.

You broke me but I’m still here starving for more.

- I still love you, please come back.

He's gone.

And that kinda *****.

He wasn't who I thought he was. He was more capable of anger and ruthlessness than I imagined. Saying things that tear out the most vulnerable parts and stab them to bits.

He was more childish than I thought he'd be for his age. He spends recklessly, doesn't have handsoap in his bathroom, and watches TV from a desk chair.

He was flaky and shady. Giving little information and being dodgy about his phone and whereabouts. He consistently cancelled plans and left me in the lurch.

He was never going to think about someone else for a change or be truly and deeply mindful of his significant other.

He had a sharp tongue and a hard head. If I didn't select every word carefully, he would snap and say horrible things.

He didn't let her go. As much as he would deny it, Priya still has a hold on him. He can't let her go. He would say terrible things about her and then also say I was like her.  He would delete her messages and lie about her texting him. He carried through the trauma and treated me like her. He wanted a relationship to just pick up where that one left off and not put the effort into 'dating'. I was a continuation of his previous relationship - all the history but only the good person.

He was boastful and also self-deprecating.

He drank too much and smoked too much.

He didn't follow through on things he said he would do.

He love bombed me and then pulled away to where I felt empty.

He's gone.

And that kinda *****.

And I'm sad that I still miss him.



-t.s.

I went on a date today,
Another painstakingly empty promise of a better tomorrow.

I went on a date today,
And tried my best not to be filled with sorrow.

I felt bad for my date today,
His sincere compliments echoed in the emptiness of my heart.

What a gem, he was, my date today,
Offering everything I looked for in you, without being asked.

I watched as my date today,
Searched my eyes for a sign of warmth and affection

But to his disappointment, my date today
Only saw 2 pools of black that concealed the pain of her heart's deception.

As I stared blankly at my date today,
I briefly wondered why it couldn't be him

Because at the end of the date today,
I know I'll tell him I don't want any strings

I still went on that date today,
Shoving my feelings down, learning to hate you and letting my wits rise above.

But at the end of the day,
My hatred for you is just a blurred word for love.

There was the time before you. When I was free in my endeavor's.

Then the time during you. When everything became unfathomable. And I  wanted to spend every waking moment with you.

Then there was the time after you. When? It does not matter, because you are gone.

And I am done.

Tossing,
Turning.
I wake in a sweat.

Remembrance of a night
I will never forget.

Your body was warm,
And I ,
On your chest.

Our lips,
Meet gently,
As we slowly undress.

Night fantasies,
Met,
As we fall into bed.

And your eyes,
Now wet,
While I throw on my dress.

Confused,
But sleepy,
We nuzzle and nest.

As the clock strikes twelve,
I wake in a sweat.

You have fled,
Out the door,
And left nothing,
But regret.