May 21, 2016

Fast forward to when you choose to stay, when we're not worrying about anything else.
Let's fast forward to wen you're holding my hand and driving down an empty street.
Let's fast forward to when I trace "i love you" on your skin before you fall asleep.
Let's fast forward to when I'm not scared anymore and finally say it out loud.
Let's pause here.
This is what falling feels like.
Press play.
I kiss you and you tell me how glad you are this happened.
Pause this.
Let's go back to when I first met you;
they way you rolled your eyes and the way you smiled, I wish you had kissed me.
Let's pause here.
I want this moment to last forever.
Fast forward to when you don't leave,  you don't give up on me when I get difficult. You stay, forever.
Let's pause here.
press play

#love   #heartbreak   #sad   #depression   #life   #death   #hurt   #beryldov  
May 20, 2016

He used to tell me “what if one day you wake up in a room full of all the people who wanted to love you but you were too scared to get hurt, so you pushed them away.”
My heart’s been empty for so long, i wonder if the ghosts miss you too.
I just wanted someone to be there when i stopped hurting.
I keep it all inside cause it’s the saddest place to hide.
He told me that the walls I built up will never be broken down.
No one ever tried.
No one ever showed me that there was a reason to love.
I just need someone to make me feel again; or at least like i matter.
I’ve spent my whole life running,
why won’t anyone ask me to stay?
Why didn’t you want me to stay?
You were the ocean, and i was the girl who was in love with the sea, but was too scared to swim. The empty space where my heart used to be is aching.  
No matter how far my mind wanders i am never able to stop it from clinging back to the dark shadows i try so hard to keep at bay; but when the waves crash back to the shore, my thoughts drown me, in ways you never could.

#love   #heartbreak   #poem   #poetry   #depression   #hurt   #lovepoem   #4am   #beryldov  
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