When I was a girl, my mother used to tell me I had shooting stars running through my veins.

That any jolt in my chest or pain down my body was just a star carrying a large, important wish.

It didnt make sense to me, though.

How could a wish be painful?

But I trusted her.

She was my mother after all.

When I was afraid of the dark and looked for comfort,
She would say that I was an eternal light
and that the dark feared me more than I could ever fear it.

And whenever I would ask for something other than health and happiness,
She would instruct me to go outside and look at the night sky.

The vast sea of blackness that held my future, everyone I would ever love, and prosperity in turn for faithful actions.

I was abundant enough, she would say.

Those nights were similar to the one I will have tonight.

I can feel it.

The most beautiful lie I ever heard in my entire life

Can I keep hearing again and again?

Inside mind
Waiting in the very back
Teasing all day

Forgot place it originated from
Patiently rested there so long

Where am I with no trace of these words?

Now I am forcefully facing the truth

Calling friend in my time of need

Just crying out to deaf ears

No one listens

They take advantage of what I am missing

Pretty flowers have wilted and died

Butterflies in tummy flew off

Ripping the band-aid off as fast as I could

You strode into life without my permission

So I wonder why it hurts this much to watch you walk out of it

I've never felt whole as I did the moment you murmured those three perfect words

So scary thinking back how many emotions I experienced
You shared none of them

Me
And myself alone felt gravity pulling towards you faster than a magnet springs toward metal

Keeping tears as trophies to put up for show in your mental display case

Waiting for me to topple so you could catch me in your net
A specimen shown off
To use

Everything ruined with the shattering realization that when you said
"I love you"
Were merely lying

It all was a lie