fear
panic
danger
get out.

heart racing,
can't catch my breath,
hand rubbing against my thigh repeatedly,
pulling my knees up to my chest and holding my body so tight, it hurts,
i can't think logically, only fear and loss of control ensues.
my own thoughts tear me apart and scare me.

the only real danger is in my thoughts,
so how do i get out?

Anywhere, Anytime;
Anxiety Attack, Panic Attack;
Sometimes I cry;
Sometimes my chest tightens;
Sometimes I feel choked;
Sometimes I hyperventilate;
Sometimes I feel like I'm dying;
It's hard...
But I'm trying to fight....

I'm about to burst;
It's getting worst;
But they're here;
I'm trying to endure;
I'll shed all these tears,
Later.

It’s a trap
I fall unknowingly,
Unwontedly
It comes anytime
An emotional meltdown  
Suddenly I stop breathing
My hands freeze
Face turns hot
Like the blood is boiling
My legs trembling
I close my eyes
And the poison
It comes out in tears
A silent cry
Like an open tap
Like drops of rain
From a heavy tree
And everything freezes
I hear no sound but my heartbeat
I see nothing with my open eyes
All I feel is the wind
Blowing through my hair
The air stuck inside my chest
But I breathe
Slowly but surely
It’s suffocating
Yet I breathe
It’s heartbreaking
And I still breathe

How
can you say
I make everything
complicated?

You
didn't even want
to try
to understand.

Why
do you refuse
to even try
to understand me?

I
wanted to talk,
explain
my point of view.

You
say you want
nothing
to do with my faith.

You
do not think
it important
to support my identity.

      Still
      I care
      about
      you.

You
said I
wouldn't care
if you died.

Not once.
Not twice.
But thrice.

How
can you say
these things to
your own daughter?

Once in fury.
Twice I have some doubt.
Thrice I know.
           You just struck out.

Even in a room full of people, I have never felt so alone.

~sdr

It hits like a bullet.
Caught off guard,
Triggered by the circumstance,
Fuelled with the negative thought,
Your mind starts to race and all sense is blur.

It hits like a tsunami.
One second you could breathe,
The next your nostrils and mouth is forced shut,
Your insides are burning,
You’re crashing against sorrows
And there’s oh so much desperation
For the need to simply
Breathe.

When the feeling is this intense
You won’t know what hit you.

my insides may curl up like sails in a storm
but my heart is the flag, unafraid to be torn.