after a while everything about them fades

the hand holding

the kisses

the I love you mores

and the

you hang up firsts

time erases it all

it turns it into a memory

and eventually a blur

the feel of you against me

faded

I lost the outline of your lips

so why is it

that I can still

trace the outline

of your voice

when it is silent

before I sleep?

Sing to me.

Even if your voice is raspy,

And you can not sing,

Love me enough to sing to me,

In the dark,

As you take my hand,

And lead me into your arms.

Sing to me your favorite song,

Or of the fears that plagued you when you were young.

I will memorize the melody,

As I listen to the vibrations,

That your vocal chords conjure up,

As I lean my head against your chest.

Let your insecurities lay at my feet,

And sing to me.

And if you can’t bring yourself to do so,

I’m willing to listen to you hum.

you told me I could tell you anything.

and from my tongue slipped chaos.

broken consonants, faulty vowels, damaged syllables.

from my heart slipped shattered feelings that cradled every word that was to be delivered to your sensitive ears.

I spoke unto you everything that was hidden.

I brought them back to life and served them to you on a platter so silver you can see my innocence fading from your eyes looking back at you as you stared in it.

and from my soul slipped trust.

and into your hands it entered.

and then I was safe.

you may not have understood.

but you listened.

and that was more than I could do for myself.

First it’s, “I don’t have time”, and then it's, “can I talk to you for a minute?”.
But if I say yes, will you tell me your regrets?
Will you switch the song tune, can I sing along with you?
How about we harmonize your precious lies, that intricately constructed my hearts demise?
Let’s add up all the seconds that you didn’t have, put them in an hourglass and go back the past.
The past you told me to leave alone, because it’s dark outside, and you want to come home.
It wasn’t me, it was you.
It wasn’t you it was us, so I let go and now you’re looking for my trust? 
So now I’m supposed to look past your flaws and into your eyes? 
Isn’t it funny how time flies?
Don’t tell me about myself, or who you think I’ve become. 
I’m not mad, I’m not spiteful, the only thing I am, is done.

I'll follow you into the dark tonight.
I'll serenade you with lies so sweet you'll lick them up until the last drop.
I have no real intentions and we have no future.
But with my reassuring lies, I'll stitch away any insecurity you may have.
I'll mend every single last doubt.
Rest assured, beautiful. I'll lie until you feel good.
When you're at your best point, I'll kick you.
I'll kick you until you fall.
But when you're down, I promise to pick you up.
I'll hold you.
I'm a beautiful liar. You won't see past me.
Blinded by my dark brown eyes.
Hypnotized by my soft pink lips.
I'm screaming not to trust me.
But you will always come back.
And I will never let you go.

My mental capacity is reaching its max
Ideas don't develop to their full potential like they used to, leaving them in a minor state
They can't be touched by man without it considered to be molestation
My words are virgins, seeking to be sought
But this isn't the place to be a wanted thought
The world doesn't want truth, and they're nothing but innocent
Truth is inevitable but unfortunately, it's not prevalent
We prefer the ugly in the lies, and treat it like a *****
Show it the love that is only deserved to be seen by a woman that you've taken the hands of in the face of the All Mighty.
You **** it. **** it. Lick it dry.
Oh the amount of love you're willing to show, to something like a lie
"But it's right there"
That's your only excuse
Because you're way too lazy to seek the beauty of the naked truth
We're removing the sweetness from the sugar
And the melodies from the songs
All to try to belong in a world that has no problem with moving right on along
Without us
This isn't how it's supposed to be
We're supposed to feel the softness on the rugged trunks of the trees
We're supposed to sing with the wind and hum with the bees
We're supposed to write on the skies using the ink provided by our seas
But we're not.
This is how the story goes
This is how the end unfolds
With that incomplete feeling
That undeveloped thought
Cause my words are nothing but virgins…seeking to be sought.

What about if I dared you? Would you run away with me then? You seem like a risk taker. Im all yours, if you're all in. We could skip town, I doubt they'd even notice. Just listen to me, please.. Baby, don't lose focus. Now picture this, me and you forgetting about what plagues us. Not remembering the pain, living in the now. Tell me this, when was the last time you woke up, willing to get out of your cozy bed, because everything surrounding you just seemed so much...cozier? When? Baby, happiness would be abundant and we would be infinite. Freedom would come naturally, imagine not being limited! All we have is each other, because that's all we really need. It's all we'll ever have, so why not let it be?

I promise I'll pick someplace nice. I know you, I know what you'd like. Imagine every time you heard silence, you could pick up on G-ds whispers through the trees. Imagine seeing green as for as your eyes would allow. Imagine falling asleep on a luscious grass plain, me in your arms, engulfed by the beauty of our surroundings. Being swallowed by sweet air, and wrapped inside the darkness of the night. Without a care in the world. Baby doesn't it sound lovely?

Let's just pick up everything and go. All of our money, some of our clothes. Come one baby.. let's get out of here.

Baby... Promise me that if I ask, promise me you'll pick dare.

My mind woke up, and its first thought was you.
Then my heart rubbed the grogginess out of its eyes and readjusted itself to the newness of the morning.
The instant it realized what my mind was thinking, a pang shot out all through it and it started to ache.
It was reminding me of why I shouldn't.
My heart and head do this every morning, and every morning I make them stop.
It's too draining to deal with on a daily basis.
My mind should know better by itself now, but it’s willing to break every single last rule when it comes to you.
Have you no mercy upon me? Upon my heart? Upon my mind?
Have you no compassion for the pain that you put me through?
Most mornings I feel guilty, as though I should go back to sleep, but there’s no point seeing as you take over my dreams too.

It’s always you, and I’m convinced that it always will be.

I go to sleep, it’s you.

In my dreams? You.

When I wake up... It’s no other than you.

The cycle is vicious.
You’ve overstayed your visit.

Please… just pack your bags and be gone, my head no longer wants to be your home.

She met him in the wrong place at the wrong time. But in that moment, her life was perfect. Everything was right. The stars were aligned perfectly against the black velvet sky, and the offspring of the moon sang sweet songs in her ears.  The wind was crisp and cold, and it played in her dark silky hair, games of endearment. He drew her in closely, to protect her from the cold. And she submitted to his efforts to save her from the harmless winds, because deep down she knew that the cold and her were good, good friends.

Oh, he was no good. And she knew it. But he felt good, and she knew that too. So she swooned in those arms, those hard muscled, soft skinned, light brown strong arms. Everyone told her no, they knew he was wrong but why listen to the wrong when the right is telling you not to get left? So she ignored their warnings and in love with him she fell.

Yes, she knew he was nothing more than a bad apple, but she couldn't resist her desire to bite down into its flesh, and go to town until she got to the core. She had no desire to finish, not until he planted his seed.

But the seed bore a tree that never grew. It withered and it died.
She's bitter, she cries.
It was the wrong place at the wrong time.

She’s not me, I’m nothing like her.

****, she’s gorgeous.

You’re so in love with her. It’s beautiful, really.

I watch myself in the background of my mind, and comfort me as I cry. I deserve that love.

I deserve you.

I run into you again some odd months later.

I smile in your face and congratulate you on your new found happiness.

You tell me that you’ve never met anyone like her.

Yeah, I’m sure you haven’t.

You tell me how deep in love you are and I smile from ear to ear. Hearing the happiness that lingers in your voice always makes me smile.

You give me a tight hug and thank me for my well wishes upon you two’s new found relationship and say you’ve got to run.

I nodded my head, said goodbye and walked off in the opposite direction. My heart racing, your hugs always had the ability to do that… I continued walking, and ignored your scent that found a way to make itself cozy on my clothes and soon after, in my nose.

I fought away the tears as I continued trekking along to where I was going. I couldn’t let the city see me cry.

A few years later, on my day off, as I’m sitting on near the windowsill reading the daily newspaper with my slight after noon cup of tea, I got this nervous feeling in my gut.

Then a thought of you.

Pulling myself together, I shook away the thought and quickly found something to focus on.

I look out of the front window of my lonely home and hear the faint tires of the mailman driving away from my mailbox.

I gather myself and I walk rather swiftly down the steaming hot driveway and up to the mailbox to gather todays bills and some of yesterdays payments.

Shuffling through the envelopes, bill..bill..bill..

Your name?

Her name?

Official seal?

My heart races and all I can think about is the word “no”.

I feel my hot tea resurfacing as though it didn’t like its place in my stomach. And almost as if it was right on cue, a tear rolls down my cheek..

Still.. I continue to open the letter.

My hands are trembling and I’m biting my bottom lip clinging onto it with my top teeth as though my life depended on it.

“The honor of your noble presence has been requested at the marriage of… “

I dropped everything. I couldn’t read anymore.

My heart burst into flames and my body emitted a tiny involuntary whimper.

I walked inside, this time unaware of the heat rising from the pavement.

I sat down in the middle of the floor in my house of loneliness, and I cried.

Tear after tear, sob after sob, sniffle after sniffle. I cried.

Unable to move..unable to speak. I just.. cried.

I thought of what we could’ve been and the time that we shared.  

The time that obviously meant nothing.

The time that I should’ve never cherished.

The least that you could do is stay out of my dreams.

I should’ve seen it coming. Lord knows I should have. But I didn’t. And now I’m stuck in the shadow of her perfection as you bind yourself in unity before G-d and the congregation.

She’s perfect.

I’m jealous.

She has you.

I deserve you.

It's hard to get your heart at ease when your brain doesn't seem to rest
The would've been, has been, and could've beens take over any sense of tranquility that your mind had its eyes set on and destroy the reality of the paths your feet walk on.
Everything is distorted.
Lies become the most prevalent form of communication, leaving reality to become the downfall of our nation.
Let freedom ring, there's no truth to what's been sung, because we're trapped in our minds and we can't even run.
Succumbing ourselves to the limitations of the norm, we fail to succeed in the destiny put forth to us by the only Man that really matters.
We pretend that whats already been written for us is really our own to write, turning our destiny and our fate into our own demise.
It's hard to sleep when you know your brain is wide awake, plotting the steps you were never meant to take.

You don't feel my pain,
what a coincidence
because neither do I.

Hot tears caress my skin,
they roll off my chin and
glisten in the air in the split second that they find life
before they hit the floor.

They're followed by my heart,
my lifeless, yet still beating heart
that was forcefully torn out of my chest with your emotionless hands.

It's only when we were at our highest
that things start to fall
don't tell me you don't notice it.

Don't tell me you don't notice!

Nothing makes sense to me anymore,
why are you smiling when I'm in pain
we used to be one.

Reality is vague now,
everything is so dark.

Death is taking place in my soul
and I know in this moment, that it is imminent,
that's why it's okay, everything dies.

You.
Me.
Us.
…Me.

I guess time can only tell,
but it seems like I can't tell time
because I didn't see this coming.

Did you?

There was a point in time where we basked in each others similarities.
So I guess now it's only right for us to die in each others differences.