But every night I fall into
Sleepstained dreaming
And with every hour
Another layer falls off of me
One made of strength
One of resistance
I am undressed as the sun chases the moon back
Into another illuminated day
One made of fear
One of identity
I don't know whether losing them
Feels lighter or more heavy
The truth presses on me now
And it's impossible to ignore
One made of hope
One of idealism

I am naked
My cold skin is unprotected
If there is sun, I can see
When it rains, I weep
But I find every morning
That if there is silence
And my layers aren't there to mask
I am darkness
Pure darkness
Waiting for dawn to come

I loved you so much harder than I did myself
The same way I love everyone
Because when I saw you
The details didn't catch my eye
Your selfishness and your apathy
I saw your soul
And I focused on it until there was nothing else left of you
The same way I always do

At the end of every day
I wash of everyone I have loved
I rinse their souls out of me
And I stand in front of the mirror
Naked
Searching for mine

I can't promise you much
Not that I will give you what you need
Or what you want even
Not that I will be able to keep myself together
That I won't break down completely
And hurt you in the process
I can't promise you I'll be here for always
Not even for next year
I can't promise you I will take care of you the way you did of me
Or that I'll be brave like you were
Instead of running away frightened
I wish I could
But I cannot

All I can promise you
Is I will try to return all the love you give me
Return it multiplied and warmed up
I will try and face my fears
Even the deepest, darkest ones
And I will do everything I can to make this work
Because never in my life
Have I believed in love more than I do
Now that I love you
And I hope that's enough

In this very moment, just like in all others, the whole world is falling apart while being built up all over again. We are all, during every second of our lives, dying while being born anew at the exact same time.

I had heard this, maybe even understood this before. But I had never quite felt it yet, until the moment I was letting him go, while falling in love with him again in the very same instant.

Our love died and blossomed, our pain stung while being resolved, and the connection of our souls was captured in time, so that it is now equally unexistent as everlasting.