I truly believe it is a need
To be scared, and afraid
When it's called for
You need the wake up
As the blood rushes you
Think quick, move faster
Just don't show it
Keep it as your own prize
Let it not be scorned by
The flames of the world
There is nothing worse than
Someone who shows their tell

A love letter does not need
To be to someone specifically
Or to be happy and "in love",
Whatever that even means today
A love letter needs only purpose
Just as life itself needs
There are no rulebooks
When you are born into this
Same goes with letters of love
Love can be about passion
Or an experience long ago
Your love letter can be sadness
It could be expression of fear
Drawing a sunset in words
About a pain felt so hard
A love letter is the feeling you give
To another, the moment you feel it
A love letter is the way you are alive
The words only create the image
It can be your entire soul in 2 sentences

We couldn't let go, so we gripped
Gripping to all hell with fury
Like a plane rising and has engine failure
Each dangling outside the craft
The view was so beautiful up there
That we forget how high we were
We didn't see how much danger we were in
We gripped the sides tighter
As the plane rose and rose
Why didn't we let go at 20 feet? 60 feet?
Maybe we thought the plane
Would somehow make a safe crash lading
Or supposed a mid-air rescue
Or maybe we thought for a second
That if we fly high enough
Once we let go, we would have
Enough time to relive our lives
Just before we crashed back on earth
Maybe too much hope really was the end

Art will come and go
And grow and be bold or ugly
It will transform lives, sculpt beauty
It will capture phenomenal imagination
Lead to new places or people
Change an entire perspective
Open a closed mind,
Expand an eager mind
Art is in us all
So ladies, if the man you seek
Is unapologetic in his art
Be open to all his personalities
Help cultivate the many characters
That he may have shown you
Don't hold them under water
And fellas, be men, be gentlemen
If your woman you hold true
Has bigger wings than your ****
Don't be weary, become nurturing
A woman's fire should burn and burn
Women who are creating art is better
Than the story of creation itself
We owe it to each other to let art live

If you've felt the floor
At the bottom of your cave
After falling 40 feet
Blood across your lips
Body slammed across
The field of rocks and dirt
Unable to move
Days go by slower
All you can hear are screams
As you shut your eyes
If you've been there, my friend
You've felt the thirst
Which nothing can tame
It's in the air at night
In your bones at light
The eyes are majestic
The feeling is soft
And your veins are cold
It is all you want
To reach out and take it
Ravage it over and over
As it asks for more
******* out the life
And breathing into yours
It drives you mad with frenzy!
Rushing all over your body
And you can't stop till
You've had enough
Floating away with the waves
Waiting to come back for more

It's been a million miles
Hundreds of long nights
And now we've crossed the desert
We have beat the devil, at his game
It's time for us to be us
Uninhibited and insane and free

nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing
nothing nothing nothing nothing
beer and ice cream

Let's get lost in the soul of the world
Our world, this life
Everything has got soul
Baby, whether we feel it or not
It's there, trying to live
Just like us
Just like us

Good morning in sunlight breeze
Shadows of battle is bedside
It's almost 80 degrees out already
8am this morning took the beating
Ready to go in the mess of life
Scrambling for something tangible
Running towards normality
As the rains washes the jungles
It is not a fight to lose
You stop being yourself, you're dead
An only way out - the Truth

Sometimes these things just work out
Issues with agenda's made by the universe
Like the swaying of the leaves on a tree
It is so natural, you gaze at it's beauty
Talk a walk down a busy street
Everything is so quiet in your eyes
Soft breeze hits your body as you continue
No clutter, no bother, nothing planned
Life has requested nothing
Life can take everything
It is the maestro, the captain
It can lend it's gifted hand
It will strike down at any given Sunday
We are but souls in a playground
It's always funny when we see more than this

Recently I notice more about myself
Than I have ever once before
Age, experience, money, love
Something that has stood out
The way my brain functions
I let myself go more in than ever
For example, I'm walking
I notice the birds, the cars
The noise, the tree, my footsteps
People, clothes, buses
Women, children, men
I think where are they going
What is that, who is that
Step after step I count my thoughts
Repeating what I see and hear
It's a machine of thoughts
Though. I fear one day
My mind won't snap back
In time to make important decisions
Cross the street on time, stop for traffic
Say hello, or even walk naturally
I think one day in one
Of my golden visions of life
I will be so unaware of my life
So engraved into my thoughts
That I could be stuck in front of
A bus or middle of the street
Or trying to walk through a wall
Who the **** knows
And when I snap out of it
And my senses are all operational
I just laugh and smile
Thinking I've done it again

Picking up a camera, does not
Make you a photographer, my friend
Typing away makes you no writer
Buying quality painting supplies
Does not mean you can claim
Being an exquisite painter of art
No my friend, you must crawl first
You must cry, and ache, and suffer
Before you can begin understanding
The task required to say you have
Crossed the line from rodent to artist
It is a struggle before the gravy
People can do it for years
Yet be so far away from true art
Someone can pick up a pencil
And immediately soak into it
Becoming the artist comes from
Your guts, your sleep, your lust for life
Not what you can tell someone
In conversation, or show via the internet
It comes from far more
Many people achieve it,
The few who have may not even know it
****, I know a homeless man who
Cleans windows in a parking lot
Who doesn't accept money without working
Who is more of an artist
Than half the population trying to create
Just don't 'em like they used to
Everyone cares too much, nobody just lives it

Delicious are the days when
Inspiration fills up my lungs
With hope & desire & electricity
The urge to walk through fields
Of flowers, short and long
Letting the imagination dance
Inside of a garden in Paris
Singing Mozart from a balcony
Champagne and laughter all around
Thinking of the next novel to read
As you cruise the shore of Tulum
Tasting exotic fruits and wines
Along the Spanish front
Those days for me are gifts
The breathe of fresh air
One truly needs to move forward

The soft warm bed
In the middle of the day
With the wind blowing
Through her open blinds
She's so soft
The sheets are bright white
As I have always pictured them
She's all I need
I've grown so tired
I need a place to rest my head
I've found solace here
Here in the soft white bed
She looks over at me
She's happy I've came here
I was drowning
The breeze hits my face
I close my eyes and fall back asleep
I hear her get up to
Go check on breakfast

Each face that walks by
Each stop we pass
Another commuter today
Same dry faces on the transit
We walk by one another
Some say good morning
Some folk are still asleep
Some folk haven't slept all night
Then there's those glowing
Emerging from the grey,
Cold bitter mornings
Big green eyes, long hair
She knows you're there
You're a sinking boat
And she sees it everyday
Music in both your ears
But it's all in your head
You're just staring outside
Thinking of a day for happiness
Thinking today could be it
But it's not, it's still cold
Gather your ****, next stop please!

Mr. Big Time Blues took at seat
As always, to the left of the bar
Sat real tall, never looked around
Nodded his head, double bourbon neat
Dusty old fella, but sharp and calm
Everyone made their assumptions;
Killer hit man, wall street tycoon,
Ex-marine, business owner of steel,
depending on the viewers,
it was always some different assumption
He would sit there round after round
Sitting taller after drink after drink
Getting up here and there
Dime in the jukebox in the corner
Went back to his seat, and nodded
He would sit and soak in the music
He would take in all the eyes
And I knew he would go back home
and continue his novel,
Mr. Big time Blues was a writer
With a six gun in his trousers
and a mind full of the blues and whiskey

It's so very comfortable
You're nice and warm
It's been freezing
And these blankets
Have kept in all the warmth
It's too early
To open your eyes
Feeling not so rested yet
Cringing your toes together
Ducking your head back
Underneath the layers
Life starts pulling off the sheets
Can I be sad, for just a little longer?
So you go doze back off again
It's not time to be happy yet

Another cold night in Eagle Rock, CA
New York flipped the switch
And the banks shined their shoes
The rent is paid and I've got.. the blues!
A buddy and a woman at my door
Clear sky and the cold ain't got me yet
Life make you shake, you start dancing
They take your heart, give 'em your soul
When the doctor says, "Take it easy."
Suit up pal, we are going for a ride
We ain't dead yet but we ain't rich
So take all you can take and go baby
Change what you can and keep swinging

Another cold night in Eagle Rock, CA
New York flipped the switch
And the banks shined their shoes
The rent is paid and I've got the blues
A buddy and a woman at my door
Cleark sky and the cold, ain't got me yet

I forget why I'm here sometimes
Listening to the world
Everyone gets ******

So many beautiful people
Walking around the world today
On the sidewalks, the theatres
Ordering lunch, crying on the phone
Community to work by train
Flying to a vacation
Placing a sleeping bag on concrete
Dying from within because
Nobody can see their beauty
The epic battle of soul versus mind
The minds only needs
The heart only desires
Never seeing face to face

A wounded tiger
Bleeding across the jungle
Deeper into the night
Appears a fawn,
Who is eager to lead him to water
Step by step to the river
Blue moonlight hits
The tigers scarred back
Glowing blood, dripping down
No road was never straight
The tiger knew how to survive
His fawn kept the light in front of him

Staring at the comp
The little worm eats my brain
Hole after hole he digs
Or she, I don't ******* care
It's a worm, you're a human
Spinning on a rock
Floating through space
Let's not make too much of it
Anyway, back to this
As the worm pushes along
******* out your brain mass
You're left with two options
Either you're even more dumb
Than you were before
Or somehow you begin to see
The pattern of your worm
How he eats, where he moves
What he likes and you become
The little worm
Feeding yourself what you need
Knowing that worm is there forever
What will your little worm do now?

Rain falls upon the cement floor
The mountains huddle in the background
What a scenic morning today had been
The bedroom was so cold
And she laid there peacefully
I lifted myself out of bed
Carrying the weight of my sadness
It was heavier than expected today
One thought lingered,
"Should I give in?"
I showered, I dressed, and I drove away

My eyes shut,
I know I am dreaming
The body goes senseless
It's the nerves still aching
19 Years of punishment
And, I do not sleep
Not like anyone else does
Sleep is turning off the lights
I don't know if my body knows
That it never gets rest, or solace
We are stuck here together
Everything is so loud,
Yet nothing makes any noise
It feels good to be frightened
**** sleeping, and to hell with
Expectations and white wine

It's as if they forget the rest of the world
The computers, the telephones, the policies
Each in their own never-changing world
Then it gets even worse than them
You look around and begin to notice things
The officials, these people "In-Charge"
With fat wallets and hollow brains
How the **** did you do that?
Half of them can't sharpen a pencil
And they get filled with hot air
So they think they're doing the job right
It eats at them knowing the real truth,
That there's mother ******* out there
Who will eat them alive at any given chance
The hard workers, earlier risers
Those who earned their keep
And you can feel their warmth as they walk
You know when they've entered a room
I like those beasts, those warriors
Those not being destroyed into robots
Keeping their creativity a float
Letting everyone know, that they are watching

There is a deep peace that I seek
No ocean dark enough
The sky far enough
That I will not search
You must fail to find truth
You must be uncomfortable,
To find the truth
You must hurt, to find a truth
The damage has been done
And the four walls still stand
Bright within the war
Yearning to learn
Yearning to live
Yearning to love
I'll take my blade into my passion
Dust myself off
The hole through me is wide
I seek no shelter
For I have lost my way
Now it is time to find out
Who I truly am to become

We know for a fact
That nothing lasts forever
Forever does not exist
I don't even think we can
Understand the concept
Of "Forever"
Things come and leave
Today is already tomorrow
Love burns out
Ashes of sorrow remain
We know life isn't lengthy
One idea comes,
Another gets forgotten
We are only humans
Specs of dust to the universe
This alone, Should be the wave
Underneath us everyday
Pushing us forward
Giving us the control, discipline
To not be allowed to be
Brought down by minuscule trivialities  
So why stop?
Move forward, through "it"
Whatever "it" is in your life
Because no matter what it'll come to an end
So might as well get through "it" yourself
Unapologetic and complete

Let your mind unwrap
After the long day
Under the trees
As the sun sets
Leaving all the lies
Remembering the truths
That the world hides
And you are not scared
And you sing a song
And you're in a different place

Once a man has gone mad
He will always be a mad man
His insanity will be pure
At times, intolerable
His lust will be severe
But it will drop on your lips
Asking for a taste
And he will show you
Life and death,
And everything exciting & tragic,
In between

You close your eyes
And it's a new path
You close your eyes
And then it's a new path
Time and time again
It's a new path
After you open again
8 hours of sleep last night
A new path
10 minute nap in the afternoon
A new path
Phone call in the morning
New path
Train ride in the evening
New path
No music today
New path
Photo and photo and photo
New path
Sadness
A new path
In which direction will it stay on
Where is heaven on Earth
A new path

There's no noise
I feel the pulse of life
See the people existing
Watch the cars pass on
Look up at the sky,
The clouds are so beautiful
The massive mountain range
Over looking in peace
It's hard to listen
To all of my surroundings
Forgetting they are even there
I listen to some music
To feel the vibration
But I can't hear anything
I'm in this cocoon
Blocking me
From anything most tangible
I exist only within my walls
Looking at the stars
Smiling at the rain from a hole
All I need, really

Glowing with the stars in the sky
She's a character in a wild story
Creating this untouchable aesthetic
Unconsciously focusing her energy into
The eyes of those who gaze upon her
You can feel her in your finger tips
As you observe, you also transform
There is true clarity in this chaos
She twirls and sings and laughs
From summer beaches in Mexico,
To rainy days in Paris
Capturing each moment of ecstasy
Each moment of living life right
Happiness at each turn and twist
There's music and drinks and art and love
Here in a garden of fruitful existence
Escaping the dead hands of being a human

There should always be
A place in your mind
That disagrees with its counterpart
The outcome of this
Should be your essence

It feels as if the year doesn't
Start till round March-April
I remember there was never really
A start or beginning as a child
The calendar says one thing
The clock tells me more
And I suppose we could follow that
I see the wheels of the year
Slowly begin to turn when
The sun comes back out
It makes more sense that way, I think
Everything begins to hit me
I understand that now,
No more trying to fix last year
It's too late for anything like that
Now I see everyone galloping
Scrounging to figure out who
They will be this year, the big race
But I'll sit from the stands
With the paper and my drink
Knowing **** well we all lose

There is so much I worry about
And so much that I dislike
It's only one action, with millions
Of different ways out
And my anxiety sits there laughing
My anger plays a game of chess
At the bar is my apathy
Fools who talk so much of progress
But never move more than two steps
The She's of the world like concrete
Hoping that their prince appears
From the heavens, without ever
Being a princess to begin with
Each month I move slower
But I still have the good fight
Hidden away where they can't find it
I see them with their flashlights
Looking and searching
But it lives only inside me
And my good fight continues
So long as I walk through this fire

My eyes are closed
Head buried in the pillow
The birds outside drink
From the water on the leaves
Rain falls upon the concrete
Right outside my window
I smell the cleansed air
She went to pick apples
It is the first cold morning
Of the approaching season
The birds and rainfall
Own this morning
The fatherly clouds gaze
Down upon them

I'm swimming through my mess of
Past and current afflictions
A sea of devils and unorderly behavior
Chaos and whiskey and ominous eyes
I swim towards a better place
A better man, a better view
A view of silence and peace
And a soft woman to wash me after
I hunt the wild red deer in the night
And we mate wilder than
The night and the sun and the moon
And the stars and ocean above

wave after wave they cover you
layer after layer deeper you sink
each day becoming more how life
has set you to be, for the world
covering you - eyes and soul
forcing you to forget who you are
copious amounts of events to distract
you from the greater picture
they beat you over the head with
each wave, dangling images of
right and wrong as they starve
the hungry and feed the stupid
all the while you believing it all
maybe that is why the greats disappear
to travel the world not so forgotten
and I sit here tonight thinking
am I part of this? Am I one?
am I one running towards the wolves den
so they can feed on the thoughts
that I've tried to protect
or will this insanity set me free

Listening to the piano man in the corner
Sipping on Spanish wine by the window
The soft breeze pushing on through
Woke up this morning in a daze
There is so much beauty in the world
So much pain and confusion
The answers to it all right in front of me
But I can't move my arms
My legs are still, my body is aching
MY mistakes keep happening
The past continues to leak into my present
With each hand of the future
I crawl and crawl till I am free
These mistakes are such heavy tools
At times too heavy for me
Too heavy to see or touch
When will I learn., when will this  go on
I've asked life to heal me
I've considered the worst
Tomorrow is bleeding
But today I am not free

I'm sad today and I know it
I believe being sad is healing
It becomes a healing process
After you injure yourself
All the little molecules get going
Start stitching you up
Making that bone that broke harder
You must be sad to heal
I guess, maybe, that's why
It feels so good, you know?

Nothing ever returns to normal
It always moves forward
Things always change
Nothing returns to the ways
Things used to or not used to be
You're a kid running down the stairs
Then, you buy a nice coat
Then, a phone rings
And then, then you'll answer a call

Sleep deprived and malnourished
Nightmares don't scare me any longer
Opened eyes and certainty does
While blind eyes make moves
I slide away from them
Anxiety comes with flowers
Depression swims along side me
The cracks become larger over time
Moving forward with cemented legs
Yearning for the intoxication of fresh air
Freedom from worry or desire
I fight for what I want to keep building
Often neglecting what I truly need

To be intact with my body and soul
To become the vibration of a song
To see art in purest of forms each day

Come for me, my darling
With that glow in your eyes
That innocent way you walk,
The way you cut your pear,
The way you drink a cup of coffee,
Pouring a whiskey, smiling
Wondrous and exotic charisma
Divulging yourself in plain daylight
Running through the water
Driving you car in the sun
Screaming that favorite tune
At each and every turn
Come for me, my darling
We'll die together in winters arms

It's the same feeling the wolf
gets at night in the vast
forest under the cold sky
a madness so pure with instinct
so mad even the whiskey howls
I've had everything I once wanted
but the cry of the lonely night
keeps me hunting for more,
and the demons inside my head
don't stop the music,
they dance and dance and dance
my hair grew in thick this time

It's a dark ominous night
The cards are dealt
My hands do not shake
There's a storm coming
And we are too close to sail away
I've plenty to drink
and I am insides out
There's fear to my right
Whiskey to my left
And my past deal 'em out
Our horns are up tonight
Your move, darlin'

It's late at night this time
You're walking down the street
Listening to the wind and
Your boot heels pound the cement
It's a fast pace tonight
Crisp clean air air into your body
This time had you tired
As people catch your face
When they pass you by
You don't look at them
But they near recognize your face
It's the same feeling
You are their pain
The pain in this world
You've soaked it in for years
And now you've nowhere to go
But where ever you desire
There's blood on your lips
You are crystal clear

She still had tears in her eyes
Her eldest son, Max, just passed
He had an overdose on July 5th
This woman held in real pain
I don't doubt her for a second
She is old, burnt, mad
Her madness is pure, pure madness
She tells me her stories
And I sit there, hungover
Looking into those tearey eyes
She elaborates her stories
Wou her motion as she sweeps
"He chased me yesterday!
It was real, I knew it
Even if it didn't happen, it was real
The man loves under the budge that
Connects one building to another
I think she said she might have scared him
Maybe he thought she was real too
"I ran into the street screaming!!"
I'm at the edge of my seat.
The police have her ****,
"Historical" she says, well of course
Wouldn't you be too if you got chased
The man under the bridge
The second floor custodian
I was all too real

Nothing beats the fresh mountain air
The coast and it's insurmountable elegance
Or the soft touch in the morning by loving eyes
Those are good cards to play when it gets rough
When the weeds of daily life erupt
So build up those memories
Keep them hidden behind your sore eyes
For life will know when it can test you best
When it can pull your through the dirt
Making a man out of those hands
As you lay there, lifeless, bleeding, and over
When you are most lost and you rather fold
Remembering each laugh, each kiss, each drink
And you can't grab hold of anything
Because the waves are just too hard today
Look into that deck of cards, my friend
What whatever chance you find
You go for that win, that last pleading hope

You can see it in the glimmer
Of a blinking eye lash
How deep does their vision go
How far have they have sunk
Have they killed before
Can they accept their deaths
Or have they died a few times already
Their backs, their touch, their senses
It is all a tell to a wicked story
To be willing to be uncomfortable
To accept truths much rather
Taken covered away from the crowds
As most let it happen, but not you
Is to find real truth within life
Expose it all, leave it on the table
And lay your raises down