We were startled by the rain
we weren't used to it
the pit pat, pit pat, pit pat

We were startled by the rain
such a long drought
pit, pit, pit, pat, pat

We were startled by the distant thunder
we had been shaken by quakes
but no thunder, not in months, perhaps a year

We were startled by the lightning
its white flash sparking fear and awe
zipping through the sky

Pit, pit, pat, pat, pat
Pit, pit, pat, pat, pat
Flashes and shakes

We are startled by the rain
we aren't used to it
the pit pat, pit, pat, pit pat

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

You read my battle,
off the scars on my arm,
you seek a remedy,
to help you get along.

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

I gave you advice,
you never used,
no matter what I tried,
you got worse and worse,

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

you stopped sleeping,
stopped eating,
stopped living,
I felt your pain and it was killing me,

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

I looked at you,
and saw my past,
every time,
you would over react,

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

I had to do something,
but couldn't alone,
I wrote it all down,
and turned to an adult,

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

you got some help,
I passed my mission,
or so I thought,
until it was all for attention,

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

You lied to me,
and reported me for harassment,
after all the nights,
I tried to help you with your depression,

you fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

I couldn't of lived with myself,
if something had happened,
I told people!
when really your hospital bracelets told everyone.

So now I'm falling deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

My world is coming down around me,
all because I tried to be a good person,
do the right thing,
now this is all on me,

I fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

I'm trapped and scared,
now everyone hates me,
the darkness is back,
and it seems to have trapped me.

I fell deeper and deeper,
down the pit fall of depression,

Its closing in on me,
my thoughts are dark,
I'm still trying,
to shut off my heart.

y'know,
                                                        ­             *i wanted to tell you,

i started keeping a dream journal.  it was pretty mundane at first (well, mundane for dreams).  flying through buildings, rooms melting into other rooms, people giving speeches in their underwear. i wrote it all down in my shaky, scribbly, half-awake catscratch haptic handwriting and gleamed when i filled the lines with dots and scribbles that only my mind could translate back to english, radio waves making music from garbled slush.  scribbles flooded into my mind in the days and months after, though everything was unfailingly crystal clear like diamonds pressed in forms and tucked away to giggle and fawn over later.

                                           but recently i haven't been able to write some of it down

because
you started making appearances.

at first the cameos were confusing; i ignored them and assumed your roles in my nonsensical night visions were coincidences (metaphorical you couldn't possibly hold more meaning than metaphorical math teacher or metaphorical adam from class the previous day).  and the scribbles were as detailed as before, every moment jotted down with unending diligence.

(but one night you were right
there
next to me.
as close as the last time i saw you,
your hip against mine.
i could feel you.
i couldn't see your face but i knew it was you.
i knew with the
pit
of my stomach.
i felt it in every part of me and it
hurt.)

and then the cameos came more frequently.
and then the scribbles came out a little slower.
a little more calculated.
i wondered if i wanted to remember everything i saw in those dreams,
if it was all going to be as fun as jumping from mountain to mountain.
why were you sitting next to me in the theater seat when i got called on to recite lines
that i never learned?
why were you smiling next to me like you did on those days i could do no wrong?
why
were
you
next to me when my stomach turned into a pit of rotten, nervous train wreck?
the curtains closed and the lights shattered and dimmed,
the pit became heavier than the buildings (now wrecked) that i used to leap with no fear
condensed,
******* in everything i could conceive in those slumbering hours,
swallowing the world and turning to caked ebony the world i built up as my playground.

(daniel awakes to find his playground is a sandbox no more;
he awakes with a heavier pit than he's ever known before.
today, when by passing glance his former lover he beholds,
the pit of dreams in life now endlessly unfolds.)

[ENTER PIT, SWALLOWING HIS THOUGHTS IN MURKY BLUE,
A MUFFLED SCREAM FROM BEHIND THE CURTAINS RINGS TRUE!]

f i n a l l y
i t   r e c e d e s.
but even when i see your name (with my eyes or in my mind's eye),
it explodes into being, shifting the balance of the universe onto the pit of my stomach.  i can FEEL it, pounding through every inch of me until i'm physically reeling, elbows on knees, hands on face.
and. . .
i'd carve my stomach open in between staggered, screaming heartbeats faster than the concentrated swill could spill out if i thought for a second that i could purge this pit that's plagued me for longer than
i'd ever admit.

pit, pit, pit, pit, pit, patter shatters the pit, pit, pit.
raining a bit
raining a lot,
spit, spot, Poppins not included,
window drip, drop, spit, pit, patter shatters
it yet again.

No rain without the pit, pit, spit, spot
can't stop the patter, it will
always batter
me down.

GET HER OUT OF THE PIT!

Get her out of that pit of unhappiness,
where you have condemned her to live.
Out of that cave of insecurity!
Out of that ditch which defiles and ashamed her.
Take out of any pit that denigrates her.
Get her out any pit that speaks death to her life!
Take her out of that pit of loneliness,  you have condemned her to reside in!

Pull her out of that pit and bather her!
Bathe her in the River Nile.
Sanctify her in Christ Jesus!
Bathe her with jasmine leaves.
Bather her and embalm her with the scent of freedom!
Bathe her in blessed and clean flowing water!

Dress her, in the fines cotton and silk fibers.
Dress her in fibers of happiness.
Dress her with lace of purity and kindness.

Feed and nourished her being.
Prepare for her a sunny picnic facing the ocean.
Prepare her a dinner with a full moon.
Prepare a delicacy of bliss and joy.

Educate her!
Educate her in poetry.
Help her forget the graves of her captivity in the words of poets who speak;
of hope, of love,
of the magic of new day,
the charm of waking up in gentle arms,
tell her about flying in an open sky with missing wings, with broken wings,
yet so celestial is the flight that seeks its destiny against all odds!

Take her out of that pit!
Bathe her!
Dress her!
Feed her!
Educate her!
Be the ****** for that woman. Be the ****** for you!

But you must
………………………………….GET HER OUT OF THAT PIT!

LeydisProse
6/11/2017
https://m.facebook.com/LeydisProse/


Sácala!
Sácala del hoyo!
Sácala de la fosa de infelicidad donde la has condenado a vivir.
Sácala de esa cueva de inseguridad!
Sácala de lo que la indigna.
Sácala de lo que la avergüenza.
Sácala de lo que la denigra.
Sácala de las palabra que la rompen.
Sácala de la soledad!
Sácala y bañala!
Báñala en el Río Nilo.
Santificála en el nombre de JesusCristo!
Báñala en hojas de jazmín
Báñala en perfume de libertad!
Báñala en agua fluyente, limpia, y bendita!
Vístela en algodón y seda.
Vístela en fibras de felicidad.
Vístela en encajes de pureza.
Dale de comer, nutre su ser.
Preparele un día soleado frente al mar.
Prepárale una cena en una luna llena.
Prepárale un manjar de sonrisas.
Educala!
Educala en la poesía.
Ayúdale al olvidar las fosas del cautiverio, en las letras de los que hablan;
de esperanza,
de la magia de un despertar,
del amor en brazos sin maldad,
de volar con medias alas, con alas rotas,
más ven un cielo destinado para ella.
Sácala,
Báñala
Vístela
Dale de comer
Educala
Se tu una heroína para cada mujer!
LeydisProse
6/11/2017

1712

A Pit—but Heaven over it—
And Heaven beside, and Heaven abroad,
And yet a Pit—
With Heaven over it.

To stir would be to slip—
To look would be to drop—
To dream—to sap the Prop
That holds my chances up.
Ah! Pit! With Heaven over it!

The depth is all my thought—
I dare not ask my feet—
’Twould start us where we sit
So straight you’d scarce suspect
It was a Pit—with fathoms under it—
Its Circuit just the same.
Seed—summer—tomb—
Whose Doom to whom?

a little pitter-patter,
postponed the celebration
and clatter.

a little pitter-patter,
**** on our family gatherings
like it made no matter.

pit-pit-pitter-patter.

pit-pit-pitter-patter.

no screaming lights,
the night to
shatter.

boys went on before.
went to unjustified war.
felt the hot

pitter-patter
of hatred,
of lead.

old polititcians
produced
a downpour of pretty promises.

in the form of
"freedom"
"independence"

give 'em pride
and a rifle.
push 'em a trifle
to strengthen their hide.

pit-pit-pitter-patter.

pit-pit-pitter-patter.

postponed 'til the fifth.
so we could remember
dead boys

in convenience.