Oh disappointment dad, how you haven't changed.
You are still guttless and horribly deranged.
Faces have aged and we are all wise.
Disappointment dad, you cram yourself with empty lies.

Oh disappointment dad, you claim to work so hard.
Forgetting the world, you say you have becomed scarred.
But the ones who are scarred are the ones cleaning your mess.
Selfish and blind, your words of woe fill us with protest.

Oh disappointment dad, can't you listen to the world.
Your life is ever so more becoming twirled
I can leave through the door at any moment, and wouldn't care.
Oh disappointment, why don't you show me you still have a pair.

Excuses will only get you so far disappointment dad,
And truthfully less I see you, it makes me glad
Maybe one day you won't forget about me,
Maybe one day you'll chnage and be free.

However realism is my gifted teacher
And it has taught me about people like you; the preacher.
I can accept you'll always be singleminded
But Disappointment Dad; I refuse become blinded.

The hardest part of growing up is the disappointment. The rules of fairness get thrown out the window and it's up to you to pursue your interests. Each person becomes their own main priority. Self preservation. Your heart loses it value to others, your feelings no longer spared. Doing what is right mistaken with what feels right. My problem as of lately has been not doing what has felt right, but what's best for me, finding who's best for me.

Now, don't mistake me. He was a dream. My eyes glittered when I smiled. The first tender touch that scared me, but I was too proud to flinch. Laughter was endless, love ran lucratively. I guess you could say he was the beginning of my disappointment. No kiss could be as sweet.

The next was the captain of saving. He loved the skin I was in and taught me to do the same. He gave me affection, recognition, and a dilemma of delicacy. So sweet yet so twisted, wicked some may say. The sweet taste of sin. My disappointment grew with the seduction of satan.

Now I transition. The ending of a roller coaster. The disappointment began with the first drunken "I love you" I started to believe it myself. In actuality, I think I was just trying to fill the void that sweet kiss originally gave me. Nothing else could replace it. Not even his return. These short romances burn out quickly, only lasting months at a time, but experiencing the most significant of moments. Together, my loves have caused my heart to wither more and more. But it's those small  moments that make it all worth it. The moments that I knew somewhere in the midst of the mess they learned to love me, even if it wasn't forever. It happened, and in these moments disappointment grew because I knew they'd eventually end.

It is the worst of all emotions
Creeping in like a snake
Seizing your breath and tongue
A chill that raises the hair on your arms
Your stomach drops and your face
Turns hot
Disappointment.
It is not fleeting like anger
Or easily soothed like sadness
It's brother is bitterness and
It's sister is misery
Leaving a stain that can only be cut out
Disappointment.
It seems to travel in packs
like hungry wolves
Devouring the rays of light
Following you like a shadow
Greeting you in the morning
It is tireless, relentless, determined
Disappointment.
It is an open wound that lasts a lifetime
A series of battles in a war that must be won
So we are not consumed and buried
Holding fast to hope no matter how small

Hope surges upward from your core and to the heart. It warms your blood as your heart crushes into itself twice every second and unbelievably, your mind starts to think of a million and one possibilities. Your hand tingles and finally, after what seemed like eons, you think you are feeling hope again. You start suppressing it out of reflex- an unconscious, uncontrollable action. You push it down, right back to the void it came from but its too late and your lips are curving upwards into a gentle smile. You anticipate euphoria -almost can feel it at the top of your fingertips and you finally let yourself believe and hope.

It comes crashing down without warning. For a second, you still smile because your mind could not process the disappointment yet. Then - hurt, sadness, shock - flits through your mind. You still hold on to your hope like a child who refuses to let go of candy. Your smile wavers. But just like grabbing onto handfuls of sand, hope will fall out through your tightly clasped fingers. You realised that your hold on hope is no longer and instead, it is replaced by cold, unforgiving reality.

Like an icy slap to your face, like an unexpected kick to the stomach, like a bite from a dog you have always love- that is how disappointment feels like.

Have you ever been a disappointment?
Feeling the sadness crawling up your spine
Dissipating like a disease
Following you like a shadow
A tremor in your voice arises
As they try to crack you like a code
Break you like glass
Have you ever been a disappointment?
They ask you questions
About your rebellion spree
You lie through your trembling teeth
They don't love you, they never did
All you are to them is your past.
Have you ever been a disappointment?
You're not size two
Your smile's a little too crooked
And your hair isn't straight
The boys, they don't notice you
And if they do, they make fun of you
My middle name is rejection
And it rolls off their tongues quite nicely
Have you ever been a disappointment?
I have

A disappointment can make one sad
It can also raise emotions on one becoming mad
It becomes apparent in holding to someone’s promise
But let’s be honest
A person’s promise means nothing in the voice with no documentation behind it
But on the same level, one shouldn’t make a promise they know they can’t keep
Friendship becomes a clean sweep
However, a disappointment becomes an understanding of the mind and soul having a reason for the disappointment having a connection
No it was said right without needing correction
Disappointment is a happening that must be
Again, it will understanding for you to see
In order to get through a disappointment, there is a waiting period
This is all part of God’s plan
Now I am sure you are going to think otherwise
But what’s being said is no surprise
It’s time for all to realize
Disappointments will come
I know everyone wants disappointments to be next to none
But disappointments are part of life
Sometimes you will look for encouragement being advice
Keeping up being inspired is always nice
Don’t even think twice
Preparation is only the beginning
It’s God’s plan that will be fulfilling
I disappoint you not
I don’t have a plot
In fact, I have tied my own disappointment into a knot
Now it will be time for the waiting period having a plan to take effect.

It's not love that leads to disappointment
But rather attachment.


-- Eleanor