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Ayad Gharbawi Dec 2009
WOMAN BUTCHERED



Ayad Gharbawi


Child that gathered knowledge
Knowledge frightening to human nature
Girl-child was awakened
Herself she awakened
Saw the glow of eyes buttery
Glow of hatred molten
Glow of **** howling
Child, pretended innocence pretty
Child smiled all along the paths unknown
Yet, her body recognized colours unimaginable in their serenity sublime
Figures in her sleep strange, yet beautiful
Songs of sweet sleep, yet alerting in their soothing abilities
Little girl, who are you?
Why won’t you let us
Define you?
Little girl
Honourable lady woman
Did you grow up at all?
Or did you just die in your infancy?
As so many before you have
Did you come
To feel and understand
Your sensitive dimensions?
We would have made sure that you would be mature
If you were submissive enough for us!
Child girl, laughs uneasily and seriously
Child girl, sees lofty, exalted visions possessive
Visions of history’s episodes are expressed pointedly in your compulsive embraces
The foolish martyred are reading holy sermons for their self remembrance
Soldier unknown unmasking his face mangled to the surprised horror and utter disgust
Of his family, friends and other serious clowns
Singing an anthem of Fate’s real truth and nature and essence
Heroine unnumbered, chained to deformity
And becoming a mirror of what they did chain you to
Child girl scarred and petrified by disturbed scenes committed lovingly and lavishly by Man
Child girl curls, yet anticipates
Listen! The foot-steps frighten you once more
The shrieking manic clown has arrived again, red eyed and even more
Laughing dreary, spitting words jumbled and aloud
Figure of shame stands in front of you
Intents pre-arranged by his late father
Little girl!
Are you a woman yet?
Hearing swirls of delirious, sickening
Madness, uncontrollable panic and deathly angst
Hearing painter’s brush strokes that scream their gasps of breathlessness out
Loudly and chaotically
Hears the anguish of colours’ contrasts and contradict each other to the point of
Serious suicide
Little child! Sees the begging deaf pleading for choirs heavenly to sing seriously
Sees the miserable, emaciated crumbles crumbling,
Yet foolishly searching for a non-existent tenderness in darkness painted by drunken Satans
With the foulest, blackest oil colours in their leprous fingers
They try to paint you; define you
Analyze you; dissect you
Categorize you; classify you
Little girl; woman; ******?
Alone and sincerely and deceptively guided by complicated, intertwining hatreds
That severely despised the existence of each other’s truths and falsities
Feeling sovereignty abused by casual, bored
Unconcerned sub-humans in powerful positions on earth
Pierced in pain
My sweet girl, you are now
Pierced in deathly, unforgiving
Pains and hatreds never forgotten
Sweet Humanity
Sweet Man
Sweet human beings
How sweet you all truly are!
karin naude Mar 2013
maturity admired exaggerated by far
assumed mutual care
me, stepped on Satans tail
ignoring elder warnings
believing Satans whispers
building, dreaming forging forever happiness on a whisper, sweat whisper
i enjoyed the dripping yellow whisper
smooth clear honey, flowed
my deity please remember me think me
i Begg for my soul, please mercy
please release my soul
ties that bind, please destroy
by faith alone, a righteous prayer
my redeemer lives
standing on faiths shoulder, my enemies crumble and fall
father please forgive an ignorant youth no more
old spit out toy, emotionless
the road is hard, please carry me
by faith alone, by faith alone
Gidgette Mar 2017
And so it is,
That I hide
I can't abide

By natures laws,

I confide
Contemplate suicide
Darkly, swinging wide

A clock hand

Unto this,
I remiss
Longing greatly,
For deaths sweet kiss

Dark song,

Blackened lips
Fingertips
I served your table,
Pay your tips

Money spent

Membership dues,
You haven't a clue
Real life in truth,
Coloured blue

Black rainbows,

Make your wage
Dance on stage,
Oldened
Turn the page

A tune

Step in time,
Sing your rhyme
Its what they want,
They've paid their dime

Watch it,

See me here
Am I clear
The heat,
It sears

I can't breathe

The air is stale
My skin is pale
And I hang,
From Satans tail
Kìùra Kabiri May 2017
"Remembering the Soviet’s silent sufferings!"

Chechnya, Georgia, Crimea…… Kiev!
There they marauded cruelly combing all  
And souls they severely sought to take like hogs
Souls they fatally fought-these Dmitri dogs
In death jails-a hell more than purgatory’s punishment
They put souls to pleasurably slaughter them all
And a soul at its time they picked and hacked in elated excitement
Severely they severed them these trigger happy Zarkozsky fools

Hunger and starvation their invasion caused!
It is a saying: To suppress small states-hunger and violence cause!
And out of these societies’ desperations, demeaned humans
Will subjugate freely as miserable subjects-slaves to any rule
The soviet sacrificed us to their animosity and brutality
Our children, our parents, our experts-we all fatally fell
Of their gallous guns or cruel squads or unnatural hungers
Humans, hardworking humans became bones-NOTHING!

We did the donkeys’ hard works-indefatigably  
And they ungrateful, kingly collected our all
All our tills tires they unjustly carried away
And all was left in sustainable villages were huge hungers-
Everywhere were war casualties: tension, desperation, mass starvations-
And when angered we couldn’t bottle anymore we staged rebellions
And they cursed us with all sorts of chemicals contaminations

They combated and convicted us with any known brutal cruelties
Innocent infants they injured with their injustices-fatalities  
Little angels they hewed with brutality-others they made all sorts of slaves
They collected us, us resilient and begun murdering our mettle vitalities
Men, all able men they collected, killed and covered in mass graves
Them they carried in transport trains, some they threw away in trenches, in rivers…
Their remains they concealed to deny us a claim of their atrocities and animosities

Babies remained, crying for their dying mummies and daddies
Long after finally they have given up fighting-living
Poor innocent babies, unaware it is death……
It is not death the devil but Dmitri dogs the devils
That has fat fed on their last of defenses-able parents
Times ahead of them were tough if not toughest

The Petrovs’, the Pavlovichs’, the Mirovics,
The Lenin’s, the Stalin’s, the Sarkozsky’s.....
They are animals raised from hells horrible
There not to pamper and foster but to decimate  
Ruthless and cruel they killed without a soul-a heart  
Death is their rite, blood is their eucharist
Mass mortuaries of mutilated bodies are their sophists
Killing is their glorious celebrations-theirs sacred sacrifices

In jail, doors opened and rude were ruthless soldiers’ orders
Chains crinkled on ground as sacrifices lead to little altars
Prisoners were time to time collected and lead in cruel commanders’ commands
And from distances came echoes of targeted bingo bull’s-eye shots
A LOW ROW of shots followed by the silences of squeal of sailed souls and their guilt
If a day or a night-if any able to tell from chained scary dark chambers  
Passed and found you fit-alive, you counted yourself very, very lucky!

It was dark when we escaped from the jaws of our starving starring deaths
Out, the moon shone silvery sweet and bright on these sad ******-white snows
Its silver speckle lights letting lurid luminous sparkling glows
The snow rained with such sadness and bitterness
On our ears it whizzed with fury and ferocity
On our bare skins it bit with brutality and cruelty
On our near naked feet it froze and frosted
We endured, we had to!

Had we managed to rob death of its celebration and elation
A taste of our starved wounded bones-surviving skeletons
We had to struggle to live and hope give, we strived, we had no choice
If we were to be counted heroes of our hopeless humans
Saviours of our suppressed peoples
We had to reach a safe distance and our rural homes
To stage the war from the roots, the stems, the base!

A death in nature by nature is better than one in Dmitri dogs hands
Their deaths were inhumane, their deaths were merciless
They were mocking and shocking-laughing and loathing while killing
A mocking moustache peeking from their elongated mouths smiles
A cigar smoking from their mouth and emitting from their nostrils
A red star labeled soviet beret on their ***** irking hairy heads
They killed you slowly loving and laughing of any strength you gave to live
Until at last you are lost-in the abyss arenas of death, your are done
Such a point you give up, you can’t fight, resist anymore

They chased after us–they pursued us
They were too determined to not let any of us live
But miraculously we lived-we somehow survived
Here in this snowy arena it is a fair ground for everyone-
There is no grandmaster, it is improvisation
Survival only for the willed-fittest
Not how well you were equipped or trained
Though too skills and determination also counted

We trapped them in their own constructed coliseum
A lot of them free-froze and fell in these forgotten fields
Their bones never to reach their of-kin commemorating cemeteries
Nature is JUST! As us, theirs too had to bitterly mourn their nature lost
The never to see graves, reminders of their never returned fighting loved ones
With God’s grace on us, we cheated their beginning to tire authorities
We reached home; we reached the earth’s of our ancestors

And here we gathered to charge back-to seek backups
To restore the lost glory of our nastily punished perishing people
Some we sneaked to safety in case we all perish we have remnants
Backups to tell of us-our sorrowful story-our liberty struggles
To Kiev and its heroes; to Kiev and its strong heroines
To Kiev and its resistant living; To Kiev and its resilient
We gathered to kick back, to tell the world of the evils of the Soviet Satans
To mourn with grace our gone and done in this dehumanizing disgrace!  
O Kiev, her heartless Holodomor; O Crimea, O Georgia…..
The Satanic Soviet infiltration brought you eternal sufferings!

© Kìùra Kabiri. All rights reserved.
Mr Macabre  Jan 2012
$PAWN$
Mr Macabre Jan 2012
You better watch out
- You better not cry
You better not shout
- I'm telling you why

Satans spawns are coming to town

They're checking their list
- They're checking it twice;
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice

Satans spawns are coming to town

They see you when you're sleeping
- They know when you're awake
They know if you've been bad or good
- So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
- You better not cry
- Better not shout
I'm telling you why

Satans spawns are coming to town



M.M ©2012
Loving you was once precious and the light it gave once let me bask in the glow,
Now I realize how you've destroyed all the possible sucess I could've acheived,
You are not an angel like I once claimed you were,
Now in my eyes you are only one of Satans spawns,
You try to repair it all but you only make it worse,
You think I don't know the truth,
Like I'm some sort of ****** fool?!
I know better than to play by your rules,
This time when you try to "fix things"
I'll say "***** YOU" and walk away,
And when I go don't expect me to come back,
Not for you,
Hell no.
To my heartbreaker...>:O
Ston Poet Jan 2016
Young Ston..Oh..
I glow,Oh, I won't stop No..Oh..I'm on go..Oh..(Ohh3)..Yeah, ** I glow..(Oh5)..I...glow..(Ohh6)..I won't stop Noo...(Ohh4)..I'm on go..(Ohh4)..I won't stop Noo..(Ohh4)..I'm on go..(Ohh4)..I glow..(Ohh4)..Uhh,..I glow...(I won't stop2)..(Noo4)..Oh.., I'm on (go7)..Yeah I'm focused, Yeah I be glowing..man I'm on go, Yeah, I glow *****..(I'm on go3)..(Oh2)..(go8)..Yeah ***** I (glow3)..(Ohh3)...I won't stop..(no7)..I'm too (close3)..I'm on (go3)..I (glow3)..Oh, I won't drop the ball,..(no4)..Im too focused..(Oh4)..I'm too close to succeding , so I'm on (go3)..(Ohh4)..(I'm on go3)..(go5)..Yeah **.., I glow..(Oh9)..
/I won't stop glowing.. (No
2)/2
I'm on..(go
6)..(Oh6)..for sure Ayo..

I gotta get my safe filled up dude, straight cake nothing but cash on me..Yeah **, **** the Federal Banks dawg, I been trappin so I got that ***** money, Imma throw some to mom dukes & let her open up her own bakery, so we can clean Dat ****,  yeah man.. My whole family know what's really real, Yeah they stick to  the g code, Yeah they already know the deal man..
My bloodline is filled  with real gangsters *****, that always kept it true & trill, Yeah..so I would never tell, death before dishonor, Yeah..so you don't wanna ever betray me man or your familia will be missing ya, I'm just letting y'all fuccers know from the beginning, Yeah..I look like I'm weak & I'm a geek but I'll have you swimming wit the fishes, Yeah mob ****, Yeah *****, I'm plug in wit the Italians, so like Loaf said ***** ****** you don't wanna..(try me Yeah
2)..then its (bye2)..homie for real, ***** *** ****** this (the statement3)..Aye Man

I usta eat ramen noodles all day everyday man Yeah even for breakfast, but now I'm renting the whole Ruth Chris out in Buckhead for my ****** Disciples, Yeah all of my OFTR Souljas..
wit me everyday & everyday now we getting paid too man, & baked too..(Yeah2)..We making statements..Aye, Yeah Fo sho..

I'm on go..(go
6)..
Yeah dawg, I gotta go..(oh6)..Imma keep rolling mo, Yeah Imma keep going..Oh..(go2)..Oh..fo sho,..(Ohh3)..Woah,..Yeah I gotta..(go3)..Yeah..I gotta (go2)..(Ohh5)..Yeah of course Imma (glow8)..that's..(Fo sho4)..Yeah dawg..Uhh,yeah I gotta go..

Ohh, whatever God wants me to go then I'm going hes my master & I must obey him or I'm just useless like a 80s era cell phone,Yeah so whatever God wants me to do then Im on it, like a good assistant..
The Heavenly Father assistes me that's why I am still living today,..He's my creator, he's an inspiration for you & me Aye..Uhh Imma **** Yeah..Imma..(****5)..,real talk..
Imma always give (my all
3)..(all2)....but not my soul that belongs to the Heavenly Father,..Yeah..(Fo sho5)..(Ohh2), Uhh..Young Ston..

(Ohh
7)..Uhh..I won't be stopped..(Noo3)..(Oh2)..I'm too..(strong3)..(Ohh6)..like the Hulk, Oh..I'm incredible & I'm untouchable, Yeah..Imma threat to the world..no Osama Bin Laden tho, but Death to America Fo sho..

(yo8)..I won't stop..(Noo6)..(Ohh10)..,I'm on (go8)..Oh..I (glow7)..Oh..(goo8)..Uhh...(Ohh7)..
Woah,Oh..Let's (go
6)..Oh..

Im on (go9), Like P.D Eastman, go dawg go..OFTR no we don't support these hos..we only support the real yo..Imma blow, Imma shine, & Imma glow like a nuclear bomb dude, Noo I can't give up now, I'm too close to the finish line, my ***** I will have my victory man,Yeah..
I'm gonna prove all of them doubters wrong,..OFTR we all Kings & Queens , yo these busters all ready tryna steal flow from me..,yo forget being  in a secret society,..Imma let my gang be know mane , Yeah Imma real ***** & I'm proud of being one mane..ayo,What happen to potten lyrics & conscience word play...Hip Hop is dead, so Imma  resurrected it my *****..
These rappers be in the studio playing house naked & dress up wit each other, then claim to be..(bout it
2)..on cameras,..Yeah man..

Yo, shoutout to Nas, Aye, I get that ether flow subconsciously when I rhyme, ayo my Flow kinda reminds ya when hip hop first had started, now these rappers sound like Prince, too much purple drank got these ****** going ******* , I can't understand a **** thang they rhyming..these ****** just don't make no sense anymore, yeah they all  so pathetic..,they ain't even making they own profits, all that revenue is going inside the white manz pockets,they **'s yeah they getting  pimped..By The Illuminati..Uhh,Yeah

I dun gott hot like KD at Rucker Park forget the hook, leave it out, I'm shooting it man, Uhh..I wrote alot of legendary **** while living with my  mama, so yeah I gotta give back to my mama, Noo I won't do what Kanye West or Jennifer Hudson did to their families, **** where yall souls at..Yall suppose to be ******, but yall on that crazy white kid ****..Tyler Hadley..Uhh, I guess the money done, made yall its puppets, Ohh well, ****, yall inspired me to not do what y'all did..so thanks,.. Aye
I have no fears, Only For my Heavenly Father & that's outta love & respect...

Aye man..I wrote this early New Years eve 2015, I had to end the year off wit something deep that'll make the people think & at the same time, let all these elementary reading level looking *** ****** see why I'm the new king in my city,..so hand the crown to me TI, no disrespect, I know you see me , real recognize real,Yeah or has being a celebrity made you blind to the facts ****, & What's good Ye,..what happen to Jesus walks..you Satans ***** now,..You ain't no God..Uhh..****..I just wanna know,Ayo  what's wrong wit asking questions man, that's what's so wrong wit people today, they so afraid of the truth, but living the pagan Satanic way..****..
What's wrong wit this world, I know its alot of information that they scared to share wit us, but we need to know, before Independence Day the movie become our reality, Yeah mane..let's change the world & make it a better place..(Ohh6)

(yo
8)..I won't stop..(Noo6)..(Ohh10)..,I'm on (go8)..Oh..I (glow7)..Oh..(goo8)..Uhh...(Ohh7)..
Woah,Oh..Let's (go6)..Oh..

Let's do it, come along wit me my brothers & my sisters & let's all make history my ***** its much room but you can't be afraid of the evil..(Noo
2).., & You gotta be willing to make sacrifices for G-o-d only..(Ohh3)..Yeah of course sometimes we may lose, but the losses only makes you stronger..(Ohh2)..I won't stop..(Noo2)..because I know when the end comes that I am doing the right thing..Yeah man, I'm glowing..

/I'm on..(go
3)..(Ohh4)/..3
(Ohh8)..(I glow2)(glow2)..(Yeah2)..(I glow3)..(Yeah5)..Uhh..Yeah (I glow2)..Yeah I glow man,..I glow..(glow3)..Yeah , (I glow3)...,Yeah..(I glow3)..man..Uhh..

I'm the mufucking man, Yeah I usta have nothing , I usta to sleep on the floor, or I usta to sleep on a sofa.., I wake up my neck & back be so sore, but I soared away from that struggle on to success dawg..Uhh, Yeah Imma skinny young dude that loves to spit my mind on a beat & smoke good kush to yo..I remember a time not so long ago, when I couldn't even barley afford to, but **** I stilled smoked tho dude..(Ohh8)
I was jobless stressing out my mama, causing problems around the house man because I wasn't trying get a job man..Yeah I had drive man, all I ever wanted to do tho is stay at the crib & write hits..Uhh,Yeah you can say that I was lost & confused but I was only 19..man I was only tryna figure out my true  purpose on this earth instead of slaving for the white manz..

So I started up my own business OFTR, Yeah..Im only tryna give the people what they need not what they want man & that's what they gonna get..yo..we can all learn & teach each other new things, cooperation, Yeah we can all be Leaders & rulers instead of being so against each other mane..real spit we need to cease with the stupidity & be a family, because we can all glow Yeah we can all glow my *****, we gotta go  make some moves, before its too late & the end times come & people don't know what to do man..I said we can all glow,Yeah we can all glow man, so Lets glow together, & grow together to my *****..(Yeah
4)..

(Ohh8)..I won't stop..(no2)..I'm on..(go9)..(Oh4)..I won't slow down at all..(no4)..(I'm on go,Yeah2)..(go7)....Ohhwoah..go..go

Like some DC **** dawg,..Uhh, I'm bringing the whole hood wit me, everybody gone eat Yeah..& if you want beef from me, I don't keep none like a vegetarian,Yeah I keep alot of proteins, knowledge & wisdom mane, you can eat them , Aye man, if you hating *****, ******* & If you ever disrespect the clique that's gonna be yo last time man..Aye, so you better repent..
Young Ston, The ****** Disciple, Yeah I love to stay fried but I ain't no dummy, Imma OFTR Soulja,...**** right mane..Aye

They always got something say..Yeah mane
Them nasty ******* & ***** ******  like to stay talking , Yeah ***** they talk alot of fucc **** concerning me man..but I don't care about their words because mines more powerful, They Bruce Wayne & I'm Clark Kent dawg..,Uhh,Yeah..Aye..
I'm one of one like a custom made breitling, I'm so confident in myself , I got alot of confidence in my team..OFTR, we gone win no matter how hard the mission seems, like we was train by the A Team..
Yeah we winners mane so they don't gotta notice me, because I already know where I'm heading mane..Its cool, I'm good, I'm gravey,Yeah Its okay mane.I'm g.Cuhz, (I'm still glowing,Yeah..Uhh
2)..I'm shinning my light bright on all the hate,..*****

(I glow3)..(Yeah2)..(I glow3)..man...(Ohh6)..,yo, I said...(I glow6)..(Oh7)..Yeah..(Oh3)..I won't stop...(no9)...(Yeah4), I'm on (go5)..(Oh5)..I won't stop..(no2)..Im on..(go5)...(Oh6)..I won't stop  no,Oh,..I'm on go **..(Ohh4)..
Woah!!
Uhh..

OFTR, this The Statement, dawg,..no I won't stop, I'm on go..Yeah..Ayo **** the rules, **** the laws, we breaking them all, we gone ball, Yeah Fo show..,so they can say whatever they wanna say man..,Yeah They can think whatever they wanna think about ya my *****..let them jeaslous busters hate..don't worry, be happy, let the doubters be your motivation,.. Uhh,...I'm the streets preacher, I'm The ****** Disciple, you don't wanna battle against me dawg,..(no you don't
3)..(Oh4)..Uhh, yo much love to all my real ****** thats still breathing Yeah..shoutouts to all yall..yo..
OFTR, we ascending, Yeah *****..we blowing up like the Al Quada goons, OFTR we thugs tho ****..
I don't got much food in my refrigerator, but I ain't even hungry my *****,..I'm getting full off of these rhymes, Yeah this is spiritual food man & it tastes so good like og..Uhh,mane,Noo I don't pop beans, but I do keep alot of bars on me & they got me in another plane..Aye

Yeah I do admit I must change some of my gangsta ways, Im so hectic, but noo I can't  change my gene's,like I'm homeless,..Ayo, Yeah I live life so recklessly,but I'm humble..I'm so misunderstood,I'm  just different man, but I love the way that God has made me...OFTR..(Yeah
2)..I told them ******  that this **** would happen way before I was even established as a certifted business..Yeah I show em, when I was posting songs on my tumblr page & talking so much **** on twitter,..Yeah I forewarn you *******, them busters didn't even get to  see me like Jesus secondcoming.., no they didn't take me serious , so now they gotta deal wit the consequences, man, they only made my job more easy when I finally made it..

Hahaha..no Davis..,what up tho my *****..Look whos laughing now,Yeah now who's richer not yall ***** made *** **** a ****  arch ya back for a deal  *** rappers.., Uhh **** yo whole squad they all just sweet ***** *** ******, yall could never make the moves I dun made anyway..Noo I ain't perfect but yall too of the world, yall too weak & afraid of the truth..Uhh
Yall **** ****** know who yall are theres no need for me to even say y'all ***** *** names..OFTR We the realest gang, we the best in the A, we the best world wide too mane, Aye..,Yeah..

I'm glowing.. When they was like "Noo you wouldn't.."..but forget em, Yeah **** em, forget em,..Aye, where all of my **** gangsters & down women at who got my back show some love, I show some back..Oh..(Yeah4)..& I ain't even rapping right now *****, this the Outro,..So I'm making my last few statements before this beat stops, ****..I know the engineer tired, I been  working him towards a billion..Uhh, my ***** they saying what I'm tryna do is thee impossible, but I'm on..(go3)..(Oh3)..I won't stop (Noo3),I'm on..(go3)..(Oh5)..Fo show..Uhh..
You can do anything you wanna do my *****, & you can be anything that you wanna be..,Yeah & that's for sure.. Real gangsta talk..

Uhh, Shoutout to all my OFTRA Souljas , Shoutout to all my ****** Disciples, I love all of yall, for real my *****, I really do mean that to..yall the only ones I'll give my heart too..Yeah..
Only For The Real *****..Only For The Righteous.., Yeah,..OFTR, Only For The Real business, Yeah.., Only For The Righteous..
(Yeah Only For The Real *****, Yeah Only For The Righteous*2)..This is for the righteous & this is for the Real..only..for real homie
stonpoet.tumblr.com
zebra Feb 2017
she said
being a feminist
i have forsaken the temples of normalcy
for dark gratifications and base seduction
and discovered that those who know the pleasures
of objectification
and frenzied ****** lucidity with strangers
are wiser then the children of  sweetness and light
as marriage betrays the need to satisfy
secret dark labyrinths desire
and in its place
repeats ad nauseum
blunt fortitudes
in dim sunless rooms
for fear of the transgressive

satans *** nail

is conventions essential creed
exhaustions hand maid
rendered imagine-less
bereft of the new
until a mere stand in
for true desire is left
like a starved ghost
on a dead moon
a desiccated morsel
left for a hungry mouse

is romantic marriage a poetic conception
by love starved victorian imbeciles
vanquished in increments
by petty spats of blood and thunder
who know not the joys of the whips blood toothed kisses
purgation's brutal sensuality
and a creel
of ramming butter **** gang bangs
in secret fetish gardens
of cries and coos
that leave the *** wilted
and the soul lite
like a butterfly in heaven

slave girl asks
as hips sway
to sacred dionysian storms
in the smoldering pangs
of the heart
as backs writhe and arch
flex and sweat rhapsodic
and viscera panic with desire

are not such delicious degradations
pleasures ravage despicable
cause for an ecstatic celebration
kindling
fiery vapors incense
en-flamed dragons blood
for drooling kisses
that talk in tongues
in a language that everyone understands
infinitly preferred
over  the rolling eyes of disapproval
in the tepid marriage bed
saint  Nov 2013
Afraid To Write
saint Nov 2013
Afraid to write- some real feelings might surface.
Even if you accept it, I might not be able to write back.
With my obscene depression and an emptiness of guilt,
Reassuring you to never putting trust in my hands,
Don’t get me wrong, I want you more than anything.
Thinkin bout you every evenin’.
You slowly forget me with memories every now and then.

I’m slowly forgetting how to write,
Just like every Buddhist nightmare
My temples are caving in.
Fingertips relying on the flow rather than the knowledge,
Once an unknown rock is placed,
All my memories are re faced.
Satans eyes are on me
He’s realizing gods guard is no longer with me,
It’s not worth the lies,
It’s not worth the guilt,
Above the clouds yet my mind is so clear.
With nonsense in my plane and no one to steer.
Cabin shaking is just my memories shivering,
Nightmares to my mother,
I never wanted to see her quivering.
Times are hard but the life is tough.
Fighting through weeds with my two inch sword,
Never wanted to smoke yet I’ve never craved it more.
Someone help me cause I’m never making it through.
A doctor can understand but I need a therapist to get me.
Even though I’d never tell her anything because who is she?
She got secrets, she never speaks.
Although mine are straight from the fires and hers from the smoke.
Realizing you’re looking down on me like white folks.
Never wanted this for my family but its a curse disguised as a blessing,
Something they’ll never understand.
Fighting my demons even though I know they’ll never leave me.
You’ll never see me talk about how I feel without a rhyme at the end,
I’d just be speaking gibberish without a message to send.
I know I’m crazy but ill never admit it,
Never pay for classes,
I don’t want your visits.
Learning to cope with my disabilities
So I’m dealing with you.
Learning to never underestimate your enemies
So I’m measuring you.
I’m slowly forgetting how to write,
Just like every Buddhist nightmare
My temples are caving in.
Fingertips relying on the flow rather than the knowledge,
My demons play well with yours so I guess that’s a bonus.
Relying on myself, no trust is given,
Fighting your myths, truth be tellin’.
I’ll never understand your intention, pray for me in heaven.
I find it hard to summon the world,
With the sickness on my mind and the lifted virtues in my soul.
Thinking my flows quicker than ocean rapids gives you a higher IQ.
And if you’re just saying that to make me smile then I thank you.
Many people in this world underestimate the righteousness of us.
Thinking you’re born evil is dissing the beauty of a child,
Rather than acknowledging and accepting his smile.
The warmth that fills the heart when she says daddy as you walk though the door,
Or the tears that overflow your eyes when he never comes back from the store.
I understand these problems because my dreams consist of your life.
So before you call me a liar,
Understand my trials,
My deep realization,
I’m the only one unlike a choir.
Listen to your heart and to this rap.
They both beat for you.
One keeps you alive and the other makes it worth it.
The beat of a drum and the snare of a set tell you you’re not worthless.
Understand your weaknesses and they will become deep,
Redefine your intelligence and it will become the thing that keeps
You out of harm and boosts your wisdom to become a great man.
Wars greater than the world occur inside your mind when they slowly unfold.
Never really  understanding anything except why you’re sad,
Facing your consequences earns back your title of being a man.
I’m slowly forgetting how to write.
Just like every Buddhist nightmare,
My temples are caving in.
Fingertips relying on the flow rather than the knowledge,
Listen to these flows, you got it

— The End —