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Samantha Lora Feb 2017
288
So close
Yet so far
We didn't make it at 1142
288 is still not enough for us
Maybe its a sign
We aren't meant to fight it
No matter what I feel
You are perfectly fine without me
I know I can do this
But when have I said I wanted to
2 months ago I couldn't wait to leave
Now I'm begging for time to slow down
So I can stare at you longer
Because I know for a fact
I wont see you again
Not like this
Not in love
Samantha Lora Feb 2017
They touched my heart
Never left
Not the first time
Not the second time
Not even the last
"We can make it"
"I can't stop talking to you"
I smiled
Not because I believed them
But because you proved to me
You cared more than you want to show
I know its a lie
Even if you don't
Its not that I don't believe in us
In you
Its that i know us
And i know you
You want to fight battles alone
Even if I try to cover you
You'd push me out of the way
As far as you can
You don't want people there
You wont let me be there
So I'll let you lie again
Believing with every ounce
Every spot in space that you see
That you and I can do this
But I know the darkness will creep in soon
And make this go away
Just know you are my love
Not only in this life
But every other life we live in
Samantha Lora Feb 2017
Me
Being sad as I am
Became comfortable around your sadness
We shared a similar outlook on life

We both smiled in public
Broke down in private
We both wait for our own death
Just so we wont have to deal with life
And the torture we both are put in

I sometimes believe I have more hope than you
Then I get to this point and I understand
It's just my mask
The mask I put so others wont ask questions

You only wear your mask for strangers
I wear my mask for almost everyone

So yes I loved you
But you started to add more pain
than sympathize with my own
When you decided to make me wait
For a day that will never come
Samantha Lora Feb 2017
Why does quitting have negative connotation
I am drowning mentally
Yes, other people have been in my spot
Yes, others have surpassed my position
I want to quit not because I can't do it
But because if I do
I'll loose myself for nothing
No one will be satisfied
Including myself
I am only 19
And I pray for my death at least 5x a day
Just so I wont be classified as a quitter
Samantha Lora Jan 2017
Falling for you was the worst i could do
We are complete opposites
You hate pizza
I love pizza
You live in the now
I love planning more
You can go months without talking
I cant go 5 minutes or something's wrong
You're aggressive when tired
I'm touchy and clingy when tired
I tell you how much I care all the time
You only say it when I want to leave you
We can both agree that this is dangerous
We can both agree this is forever
We can both agree this isn't forever too
What a mess
We are both artists
I'm the one that expresses too much
You're the one that doesn't express at all
I guess opposites really do attract
Samantha Lora Dec 2016
The definition of space is
a continuous area or expanse that is free or unoccupied
But when I'm near you space is not unoccupied
We are choking in our history and suffering with ideas of our future
Space is not free
It costs me more pain to get even further away from you than i already am
We should be known for changing an entire definition
But like everything else we do
We'll remain silent and pretend that space is free and we are fine

— The End —