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Ryan M Hall Dec 2019
21
The party is over.
The guests have all left.
Stumble to the bathroom,
a pit stop before bed.

Your stomach flows over.
You’re retching up a mess.
Laying in the men’s room,
wishing you were dead.
Everyone remembers their 21st, or at least some of it. Wrote this over a year ago. Just found it now.
Ryan M Hall Mar 2018
I check the door locks,
the gas stove nobs,
and the tail pipe of my car.
I roll my tongue to make sure I’m not having a  stroke,
and when I drink alcohol, I make sure to drink water right after.
I don’t sleep well because I have intense dreams of what I’ve done in the past or what I will do in the future.
I have a lot going on, and carry it all in the bags under my blue eyes.
Ryan M Hall Mar 2018
The curtains are drawn.
I wouldn’t want anyone to see me sleeping past one for the fourth time his week.
The sun peaks through the broken half of the blinds.
A sliver of light shines across my face,
as I shield my head with a comforter.

My body is heavy and my heart’s the same.
Ryan M Hall Feb 2018
I never thought that I’d have eyes for another,
But im colorblind so my eyes do a lot of weird ****.
Ryan M Hall Feb 2018
T-shirt soaked in blood,
Throbbing pain in his nostrils,
He needs a doctor.
Ryan M Hall Feb 2018
I’m ****** in a California basement. The hot, stale, air circulates through a table fan.
The world melts
away.

I’m left with just my thoughts.
Usually I’d be freaking out right about now,
But the fly on my guacamole is whispering the secrets to the universe. I listen to him hum, he says that I’m doing fine. That just because I faced this blunt to myself doesn’t mean I have to have a bad time.

He’s right. Usually I’d ruin it by getting existential.

As I draw deeper into my own self I understand Plato’s perfect forms theory and collective consciousness. Or whatever.

I giggle at my small hands.
“Was I always this small?”
“Yeah. Since day one. A premature baby who’s lungs could have given out any moment.”
“Huh. Wild.”
“It takes a lot to be alive, I guess.”
“Oh hey,

That’s kind of deep.”
Ryan M Hall Aug 2017
You used to draw on napkins in restaurants.
At the time,
I used to imagine you doing that
in a New York diner open twenty four-hours.

Or maybe in a small coffee shop in Paris.
What a dumb cliché.
The thought of that makes
my roll my eyes.
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