Riva Althea Roldan

Riva Althea Roldan Feb 2016

Perhaps
the land up ahead is simply
a mirage to fool my
fragile heart.

The distance is unclear.

Around me the water
is cold, freezing
like a cadaver's embrace.
Unfamiliar, frightening.
Get out
Get out,
take the first step.

Each inch is wet,
murky, the stench of
uncertainty wafts into
my senses,
get out, get out
take another step.

Beneath, a
millstone encases itself
around my ankle, pulling me
down heavy. Difficult.
Take another step.

The time passed is unclear.

Behind,
The seduction of defeat,
comfort, familiarity has
never been this
appetizing and yet,
and yet. Step.

Up ahead
the dry land is an oasis
calling to but a lonely
traveler such as I.
The pull towards it
gentle, like a lover's caress.
Another step. Faster now.

Reaching out, the
land peaks through the
gaps of my fingers,
faster. The call is getting
louder. Run.

The warmth of His words
wipe the grime off my skin, sun-kissing
my cheek. Taking the
darkness, the uncertainty, hurry.

The journey is unclear
but the destination is certain.

Riva Althea Roldan Feb 2016

I'm (not) loved

I could say I'm not loved.
I could say I've no lover to reassure me constantly of his affections,
I could.
I could say I was not courted, drowned in flowers and expensive chocolate, fetched from my home to go to a fancy restaurant,
I could.
I could say I've no hand to hold, shoulder to cry on in this obscure journey called life,
I could.
I could say I'm not loved.
I could, but I know I wouldn't, because I am.

Loved by a love that neither death, nor life,
neither angels, nor demons, neither the present, nor the future, nor any powers.
Neither height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate. (Romans 8:38-39)
I could say I've no lover to reassure me constantly of his affections, but I do--one that knew me before I was formed in my mothers womb (Jeremiah 1:5), lived the life I should've lived, died the death I should've died, all for a wretched thing such as I. (Romans 5:8)
I could say I was not courted, drowned in flowers and expensive chocolate, but day by day my lover waits for me to return to His arms, opening up the gates of heaven. (Malachi 3:10)
I could say I've no hand to hold, shoulder to cry on, but I know that even though I walk through the valley of darkness, I will fear no evil, for He is with me. (Psalm 23:4)
Because He tells me, "Fear not! For I have redeemed you, summoned you by name. You are mine, when you pass through the waters I will be with you." (Isaiah 43:1-2)

I could say I am not loved.
I could, but I know that wouldn't be true, for I am loved
by love Himself. (1 John 4:8)

Happy Valentines Day, I guess.

#lovedbytheking

Riva Althea Roldan Jan 2016

Those Three Words

I don’t like saying “I love you”
May it be at the
Height of passion or
A passing, daily fancy
I don’t like saying “I love you”.

I would rather
Tread close against
Your warmth,
Hard-pressed in the
Outdoor rain,
I would rather laugh
Uninhibitedly, loud
Loud enough that those who play
Among the clouds
Hear my joy,
I would rather steal
The sadness off your
Chapped lips ‘til
Every mem’ry is but a shadow
Of yesteryear’s
Pain

I don’t like saying “I love you”
May it be before the
Gates of heaven or
Against the blindfold of
Darkness,
I don’t like saying “I love you”.
We owe our love
More than that.

Riva Althea Roldan Jan 2016

C is For

Canvas corridors
of cobwebbed circuses
Constantly choke my core.

For canvas corridors
Contain colored carcasses,
Clowns to do the chore.

Riva Althea Roldan Jan 2016

Darkness to Light

Tainted black be my soul
as the depth of transgression
Pull my feet in its toll.
No sacrifice in question,
but then One took the role,
took the role
And filled the equation.
The universe in all its splendor
great minds attempt to uncover,
Yet beauty’s unknown to another
than by its only one Creator.
Came He then as deliverer,
the Savior, the front line warrior,
the losing battle, a fighter
bore our burdens and made lighter.
Beyond the Father of Nations,
with love in its core foundations
shed grace into situations
And give meaning to restrictions.
Kingdom’s Prince then He comes one day
asking me on His feet to lay,
Those that dry and keep myself gray
Then turn my heart from disarray.
It was said on this night
from the Heavens shall He fall,
To the blind bring back sight,
Breaking every chain and wall
From there--darkness to light,
bringing Salvation to all.

Written post-Christmas

Riva Althea Roldan Dec 2015

Laissez-faire

Let the heavens roll out
and the ground give way
For I will never doubt
as long as I lay
that though they may create
their tower of rules
will I fight against fate
in this island of fools?

Let the heavens fall down
and the mighty reign
for as the soil stay brown
so my soul remain.

Riva Althea Roldan Dec 2015

Sigh

Parted lips and closed eyes
Follow the tune of distant lullabies
Every breath, vast as the skies
Above their heads, above their lies
And as her chest sink down then rise
She whispers the secret of heavy sighs.