is a governing motherfuck.
is lamer than Carrot Top cracking boner jokes.
has a secret blog called "Pro4Life4Guns4God".
mentions the sexiness of my beard every time we hang out.
spills coffee on his crotch every time we brew a batch.
paints his tits for sporting events.
won't drink alcohol.
fucks himself daily to clear his head.
prays for forgiveness every day after fucking himself.
is a box in a cage.
is beige, nursing home wallpaper.
is a real barrier,
to really living.