i find fear switching sides these days.
suddenly lonely years don't seem as scary as letting someone
see past the reflection my moon shaped mirror gives off.
you were too good to be true.
reeking of my pasts poor choices and delusions,
but i decided to give it a try anyway...
don't we all?
when faced with those divine omissions that beg
for the permission to attempt to teach us those
oh so crucial life lessons.
alarmingly handsome, quick and sure footed in every stride.
wanting nothing more then to occupy your thoughts,
like you invaded mine.
you're as much to blame as i.
so quick to flirt and wink,
smile and marvel at my drollery,
soaking up attention and my
star dusted batting windows
with all their shine.
i wanted to believe it could be possible,
and you didn't want to lead me on
so this sorry soliloquy ends not in tears;
but in a content sigh and the warm embrace
from the oh so familiar despondency.
looking down the length of a desolate road.
my guts turn steely and i refuse
to give my heart the satisfaction of sorrow.
i was never one to sit and lick my own wounds,
and this unflinching night is no different.
it takes more then you to shake my sand.
you are discarded like a lone glove
and as the shadow of the man,
i know deep down is out there,
flees across the desert
i faithfully follow.