i felt
myself crack;
the earth
stopped moving

and the
crack drew
down my
forehead and

through my
pale ribs
and i
pulled apart

my skin
just to
peer at
the bird

bones beneath.
my eyelids
were heavy
and my

hands were
curious as
they stroked
the fracture.

the shards
were cut
like the
hooks of

the zipper
on that
god-damned sweatshirt.
they're unzipped.

because i
can't even
write out
my music

and i
can't even
back out
the car

and i
have a
heache (more
like heartache...)

and under
the crack
is the
spot where

your absence
is felt
the most
of all.

though tonight
ocean heart
is rendered
worthless, useless.

it took
until tuesday
and exhaustion
for an

earthquake. four
by four
hurrah, hurrah
hurrah, hurrah.