Even if he had a dick, Barbie still wouldn't fuck Ken.
She only keeps him around to pay the bills, and take her out shopping.
Each morning after Ken heads off to work at the beauty salon,
GI Joe slips in the backdoor and cuckolds him,
while Duke and Flint watch
them through the window, cheering "Yooooo Joe!"

You can make some killer hashbrownies in an easy-bake™ oven,
and they're also good for drying out your homegrown.
Plus, you can make a lot of money peddling cupcakes and cookies,
because most people can't resist buying
any sort of baked goods from a smiling girl.
But don't ever sell on Girl Scout turf,
or they'll slit your face up something awful.

A smile or a pout, coupled with a drawn out "I'm Sowwy",
will get you out of most trouble, but don't try that shit
with your mother, because the bitch must be immune
or something. Stick to scamming wrinkly old men,
and silly old women, but stay away from the creepy looking
bastards that seem too interested in you. They're nothing but trouble.