When I was a little girl
Monsters used to sing to me at night.
They would stalk closer and closer to my bed,
With their soothing lullabies,
Waiting for me to fall asleep
So they could tear at my soul
With their nasty teeth
And swallow it, bit by bit.
Every night I tried to hear past them,
And listen to the angels outside my window.
They said they could protect me
With their songs about sweet dreams.
But when I did sleep,
The dreams were never sweet.
(Yes, even angels lie.)
In my dreams I stood by the sea,
Staring out over a cliff.
My tears would fall with the rain,
Until I jumped to an icy death.
I was murdered in a dark alley.
I was eaten alive by bugs.
I was drowned in someone's bathtub.
I was raped by demons I couldn't see.
I was buried alive and tore off my fingernails
Trying to claw out of my own casket.
(Who the fuck dreams this as a child?!)
I'm all grown up, and I know now that
The monsters in my life aren't the ones
That try to sing me to sleep.
The angels in my life aren't the ones
That lie about sweet dreams.
But even now,
With my half-eaten soul,
I never know what lies in the darkness
Or how I'll die when I fall asleep tonight.
insomnia has never been my friend.