Me in the Old Album, Part 4: What I Miss
by JamesyA picture is worth a thousand words,
words that in here I try to employ
in my quest to describe the nostalgia
cast upon me by time the judge;
from days of childhood through the middle
ages that I will soon occupy. I must learn to grow
old, but I still cling onto memories of childhood,
for the umpteenth time, I say I miss a lot.
I believe in angels and the dreams
I used to dream of them. Their presence
in everything I did, the success evident
throughout the old album
was inspired by them. I miss the days I knelt
on the altar praying, asking God to take care
of the dreams I dreamt. Asking God to take care
of those who loved me. Asking God to take care
of those who had no strength to ask for themselves.
I miss school that seemed a hard nut to crack
in those days, the difficult moments,
the times I learnt something new and was
proud of it. I miss childhood friends, with whom
we would trudge to school, sharing laughs
and posing for a Kodak moment or two;
playing football using an improvised ball,
barefoot, digging the big toe into the stone
and leaving the sausage toe to heal by itself.
Fishing for fun down the river with family,
often to not much harvest,
growing different species of crops,
eating fresh food and drinking fresh water.
I miss the Christmas season with new things
plenty, sharing joy and laughter with those
closest and brother with his dear camera,
through which such memories could be preserved.
There is a picture of me
in a light blue suit, smiling ear to ear,
evidently enjoying my mamas pleasant
surprises; they were not too frequent but
when they came they were tantamount to Dolly's
court of many colours, in every knot of whose
was knitted pure love. I miss the gratification
I derived from the little, the genuine smile that
did not struggle to convince.
Nostalgia from the choir competition
in which I had sung as an alto, the weekly
trips to first communion classes, the FIAT tractors
my age-mates and I made out of clay,
the pigeon I kept as my first pet, followed
by rabbits and their many children. My puppies,
my Sunday-best and the white shirt I wore for
Confirmation. Pictures of me having fun with
whatever I did. A past that I do not hold on to.
I try to remember it, as a reminder of who I am.
