My stomach churns, my eyelids fall.
I feel so tired, but I long to be awake and filled with life.
Either my friends have abandoned me, or I have abandoned them.
I suppose it doesn’t really matter now,
Knowing that I am alone.
None the less, I shall create my own solitude.
I will bend, and try not to break.
I will break, and try not to be overcome by pity.
The past is what has made me,
My own actions have made my past.
There will be a tomorrow, I have never doubted it.
I have only been unsure of how I will withstand today,
How I will endure my corrupted mind until the sun again rises.
I don’t ask why anymore.
Those three letters have plagued me for far too long.
I do not ask for the winds to change, nor do I embrace it.
I just let it be, I just let.
How queer it is to be human,
For I am as human as they come,
As human as they go.
Sunken in sorrow, uplifted in joy,
Tormented by the truth, finding safety in lies.
When I was young I thought I could do anything.
In fact I thought I could do anything a few months ago.
But change has come, and doubt has leaked into my everything.