The last outlaws of Hello had rode long and hard.
And after leaving the brothel finally hit the road.
Wild Turkey feuled dammit Amigo stop touching my knob.
Dear lord man how many times can we listen to lady gaga
Get your minds outta the gutter really just who
do ya think your reading?
I dont write porn like VK rowling or Miya Angelou or was
her last name Cyrus anyways who in the state of Hannah Montana
gives a shit anyways?
Just over the border we finally landed in the land
of masked wrestlers hostoric sights
yes who doesnt like a donkey show?
The cantina hot as usal my amigo looking around
confussed like a young Ricky Martin befor
the rockstar life of menudo fucked him all up.
Drinks flowed music played dam macdonalds was great down here.
well cept for the clown who wore his red nose in a diffrent place
bad touch kids.
Least my uncle was fitting in here lord help his boyscout troup.
camping in uncle Ronnys bed taught you a lotta things
like never to sleep on your stomach.
But enough with the foreplay children.
We were on a mission.
But not one from the big guy.
Although im not much on worship
besides Bill Gates was a tool anyhow.
We spent the night drinking dancing not togather
that is. Although Jack was a great kisser
but enough about are fishing trips
Gary was already jelouse as it was.
It was great fun till the dam hangover kicked in
it hurt so dam bad it was like Justin Bieber had
caught me asleep and raped my ear like his mother
had sold his soul so she wouldnt have to work.
The pounding in my head,the drunken Brit in the sambero
Bouncing up and down on the bed singing paparazzi
but enough bout Goldie were the hell was Jack?
And who the hell killed the hooker and put her
in the bathtub?
Jesus fargone Phil must have been here
no wonder I was missing a kidney thoose naughty Brits get me every time.
After diposing of the body thoose blind kids
will have fun with that pinyatta.
I was off leaving no stone or whiskey bottle or brothel unturned.
I interogated so many senoritas.
Finally I figured I should ask where Jack was.
Finally after a good session with a older woman
the sixteen year old finally gave it up.
And then I remembred to ask the question how much?
Im kidding I asked that way befor the umm interogation.
Jack Off the tatoo from fantasy island sounding woman replied.
Lord woman no time for a puppet show im not uncle Ronny.
No senior Jack off.
Lord dear woman what you didnt get to watch the muppet show as a kid or something?
Finally pissed the starnge sounding woman blurted out.
Look jackass Jack's off he left with some weird little guy earlier.
they took a plane.
All a sudden from the sky I herd a sputtering
noise and like a bald eagle who had a affair with a unclean vulture.
Im just saying.
It emerged from the coulds a small plane the door flew open
Jack appeared with another man why was it yes it was Eliot.
Why you dirty whore you!
Ouch shit miss I was talking to Jack.
Oh my bad senior but you desserve that just for writting
everyones a critic.
Seems my amigo was taking Eliot sky diving dam great way to bound.
well it was cept thoose Brits seem to not use parachutes
but hey you really cant feel much with them on anyways.
Eliot like a well.
Like a guy threw from a plane screamed worse
than a teenage girl at a Jonas Brothers Concert
Hey my wife wanted to go okay.
Thank God the house broke his fall.
There lay Eliot crying like Tiger Woods after
his divorce hearing.
No worries my friend I called a ambalance.
Three hours later the horse and bugee finally pulled up to
Im joking it wasnt a horse it was a donkey
And it would have been sooner if it wasnt busy
being Mr show bueisness.
Later at the bar.
Gonzo and Jack sat with there full body cast friend Eliot
sipping drinks telling stories.
Wondering why we were pissing fire.
Gonzo no wonder you love it here
what part of Mexico are we in?
Dear lord man were in mexico?
Seems my friend was a bit confussed
but then again after reading this you probaly
are two untill next time kids greetings from
Stay Crazy Gonzo