Damn, it's raining. Those droplets falling from the sky will draw attention to me. I want to be a shadow, almost invisible to the outside world but just there enough to know I'm still breathing and human.
I've managed to get outside, now to lock the door and don my sunglasses, my plastic protectors. They shield me from all invaders of my privacy and sanity. I am invincible behind them, no one can hurt me because they can't see my eyes or guess the depths of my despair. Black lenses keep out those who are not welcome to be inside my space, my head, my existence.
It's raining, people are hurrying, everyone hurrying to get out of the storm, except me? Someone looks at me, behind my shades. What is he thinking, why is he wondering, staring at me when he shouldn't be able to see me at all? Panic's rising, what if he speaks, asks me a question, walks beside me all the way along the pavement? Oh, please no, I can't cope with that. Phew, he's gone, melted into the streaming torrent again. It's just me, behind my plastic protectors, feeling that the whole world is mine, I can be me, I don't have to pretend to be happy, no need to be politely unafraid to make society feel more comfortable, just for a few moments. There's only me, I can cope in the big wide world outside the door and I am still alive after all.
