The television behind me is blaring out
The news of the day.
It fills the room with the unmistakable stench
It’s burping and belching noxious fumes all over my rug.
News of death and hunger,
Pain and terror
Creep out over my hard wood floors
Like grey slugs surging towards me
Leaving moist, sticky trails in their wake.
I open my window to clear my breath
And I look out to green.
The trees are so vibrant my eyes hurt from impact.
Outside is clean, relief
The wonder of colour stirs emotion
In the form of laughter
As I fling joy over the earth.
My eyes water from what I feel
And I leave
I rush headlong out and up
I need to be higher
Than the pain
I need to get above the death.
So I sit on a mountain top
I’m sitting on a throne
Yet some how just as miserable as the people on my TV screen
The grey returns blocking the world laid out before me from view.
And I realize that I need to move.
So I leave the visions behind me
As I fly down past the rocks and trees
Sticks snapping at my ankles
Television static filling my ears
The grey faces reach beyond the screen
watch me as I run
colours rushing past me
Blurring into a swirling melody that erupts into courage.
The trees blend together
They whisper to me as I speed past
That pity is a useless emotion
The realization that I can be an influence on this earth holds power.
They tell me that the power is a force
That pushed me up out of my chair
And into that state of mind
Beyond the barriers that pity built.
They tell me that the door in my mind marked ‘will’ has been blasted off its hinges
And I have been born anew into a being that can create change
Not the kind of change
That creates a ten dollar bill into two fives
But the kind that means something to someone besides yourself.
I have been given a mirror
In the form of wake up call
That allowed me to see myself for who I truly am
And who I am is not ok with me
So I am going to change.