i often wonder if the world had
no religion, would anyone
find reason to
do good things.

you took my waist in your
hands when i needed it,
and i know god didn’t
make you do that. there was
no promise of heaven for
making a stupid girl feel
worth something,
and i just knew
something would become of you
after this life,
regardless.

i’m not on the other side
of the door for you
anymore, to tell you
that death is only
the beginning
and that we will be together,
and now i think, to avoid
disappointment, you believe
nothing and have chosen
to die alone anyway.

i would have been there
if you had wanted me,
and that isn’t because
i think god would reward me for it
later.

the reward was in your shifting eyes
as you were reading, in your
fingers as you touched the
most fragile parts me of,
playing them each like
piano keys.

i hope you really learned
to make music, like you wanted.
i hope you learned to love yourself
as much as i did.