She was offended by the Day of the Dead; she was offended by the night of the crystals; she was offended by Henry Rollins; she was offended by an old man in our office; she was offended by the waiter and Shannon; she was offended by the idea of homosexuality as anything but a lifestyle choice; she was offended we didn’t agree; she was offended by Cher in a sari but not Cher in a war bonnet; she was offended we didn’t like the President; she was offended by the kids from her old high school; she was offended by parking restrictions; she would be offended I’m telling you this now although she discarded items from aisle four into the shelves of aisle six making the claim she was giving the little people job security; even though she said, because I was robbed, my peoples were low-rent peoples. This all begs the question as to why she does not do unto others inoffensively. Meanwhile, we each lay in the trenches of our sensibilities.