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Mar 2014
I knew when I woke up this morning
  That I wanted to do something special
I wanted to entice you
  And your taste buds seemed the perfect place to start

I told you dinner would be at 6
  You said
Fine love now I'm going to be late for work
  I have a late meeting but I promise not to be late
See you at six
  Love you

  A new emotion was rising in my stomach
Or was it an old one revisited
  I planned
Not a natural cook
  But I can whip up a good feed when I need to

  I exceeded myself
I knew you would love it
  I wanted to see you smiling back at me
Knowing
  Just knowing Id made this special just for you

  Kids at the cinema
Time to spend
   Together
  Little does that happen now a days

  So I'm sitting here waiting
Contemplating what's more important than this
  Forgetting you don't understand because your not inside my head
  Your not answering the phone
Are you in traffic
  I wait
Then wait some more
  I sit trying to push aside the hurt
The rejection
  I feel like a child inside
I feel vulnerable
  Im quite out of control

  I eat in silence
No smiling face looking back at me
  I just wanted to see the twinkle in your eye

  You come in hours late
  The meal stale and congealing on the plate
  I think you tried to say sorry
But I feel numb inside
  So stay silent

I think I heard you weep
  I didn't want to make you sad
But have no control and don't know how to comfort
  Whilst Im in this hurting zone

  When you fell asleep tonight I kissed your forehead
  I know your busy
  I just need you
I love the very ground that you stand on
And I can feel the cracks steadily forming
This a comeback to Helens poem 'I missed you by several hours' sometimes lack of communication lets us down, people don't know what's going on inside your head unless you tell them, most of us have not learnt how to mind read ... not quite anyway x
Rai
Written by
Rai  54/F
(54/F)   
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