Aug 2013
Listen,
I've got guilt choking all of my good juju.
I’m sorry I told you we’d hang out
just so I could come over
to watch Breaking Bad.
You know I need that
weekly crystalbluepersuasion.
I’m sorry I didn't sit on the porch steps
with you afterward
while you had your evening cigarette.
(I could have done that at least.)
I imagined you
sitting there
watching me
drive down the street &
out of your sight—
a lit cigarette hung limply from your lips.
I felt your disappointment &
I cursed my mother for teaching me
to have such a sharp sense of empathy.
I know I’ll never be badass enough
not to care.
I realize I was born to give
one too many *****.
I've learned to accept it
as my incessant character flaw.
(It could be worse.)
Although,
I have to be honest,
I get my kicks
entertaining the notion
that for one evening
I was
the one that got away.
I've got guilt choking all of my good juju.
I’m sorry I told you we’d hang out
just so I could come over
to watch Breaking Bad.
You know I need that
weekly crystalbluepersuasion.
I’m sorry I didn't sit on the porch steps
with you afterward
while you had your evening cigarette.
(I could have done that at least.)
I imagined you
sitting there
watching me
drive down the street &
out of your sight—
a lit cigarette hung limply from your lips.
I felt your disappointment &
I cursed my mother for teaching me
to have such a sharp sense of empathy.
I know I’ll never be badass enough
not to care.
I realize I was born to give
one too many *****.
I've learned to accept it
as my incessant character flaw.
(It could be worse.)
Although,
I have to be honest,
I get my kicks
entertaining the notion
that for one evening
I was
the one that got away.
© Bitsy Sanders, August 2013
