One day I am randomly gonna walk up to you and I know you're gonna have your headphones and you’re gonna be listening to a really good song, and I mean a really good song.
But I'm not gonna care you see this is what I'm going to have to do I'm gonna have to take those headphones off your head and just put my hands around your ears and you're gonna listen for me.

You're going to listen for the calluses in my hands, for all the work I put into every song every lyric, every poem, everything I do is being heard can you hear my heartbeat from here?
I know its a little bit past my frozen lungs and my blurry vision but I know it’s there and I’m just hoping that you can hear it.

Fact: Every song I write is always too long, and that will be because I have too much to say and not enough time so sure… I could make the songs shorter, make the music video about 3 minutes and 40 seconds long. I want to do that. But I’ll keep a 10 minute song in my back pocket for later when you feel like the pain lasts forever.

I’ve suddenly made the realization that I’ve fallen in love with one of my best friends and then I realize how much of a bad idea that is. Because we’ve never really talked about this sort of thing, and this silence between friends doesn’t go away until I say it does. I’ve known you for 3 years and I have slowly become my own best kept secret.

Nobody knew
She didn’t know
My parents don’t know
My brother does not know
Sometimes I didn’t even know.

I lied about it every time you held hands with your significant other.
And that is okay with me, I am not jealous, I’m just wallowing in my own loneliness and that is fine by you is it not?

I woke up this morning happy for some reason. Happy that I could admit that I might love you but I’m scared of saying anything less than that. Because saying that to you is like me being in the electric chair and being the person who flips the lever to the electric chair at the same time.

In short, it is terrible of me to fall for you but I do it anyway.

Maybe one day I’ll wake up and realize that I don’t love you anymore and that is terrifying but I’m okay with it.  But I will never find any satisfaction seeing you not be loved to the fullest extent, I want somebody to talk about you the way I talk about you because I’m afraid of losing you but let’s face it, you are not mine to lose because you’re not mine at all.

I woke up happy today.

I couldn’t stop smiling because that’s what you do when you’re love struck right?
That is what you do when you don’t care if the world knows that you’re in love with anybody. I want to fight for you unlike anything else I’ve done in my life.

So yes, I am smiling about how much I care about you and how much I don’t care about what everybody thinks of me.

So as I’m saying this….

With my hands around your ears

I hope you can hear me
Let me say that again, I hope you can hear ME

Because sooner or later, I will take my hands away and you can go back to listening to that song of yours… Or you can listen to the dead air, and wonder why I want you to hear my heartbeat.

So I guess I’ll be going now.
I’ll see you soon.
Or at least I hope so.