i'm so afraid
of what comes next,
after the intense emotions and feeling high
after the thoughts of you being my lullaby.
(honestly i've fallen asleep thinking of you
smiling because of you,
every freaking night.)

but what if this is all
just a dream of mine
and it hasn't really come true?
what if i wake up to find,
that i have seemed to
have lost you?

i keep replaying
the way you said my name nervously,
the way your voice sounded
when you said you had a crush
on me, the way i wanted
to cry because my dreams never
ever come true the way i want them to.

so this must not be real.

but it feels so real, babe,
and that's what scares me the most.