I am in a phase that is called "not fit for talking with people".
Because I literally find it so hard, it's almost like some tragedy has enveloped my entire being, taken away my skill for wordy conversations.
I can't write. There's no magic in my talks.
I can't share. Not even the most random of things
I fear coming out too much. I have become someone I cannot recognize myself
I push people away and feel bad about being scared
I don't love it. There's nothing romantic about messes.
However, I do believe in healing and I have tried for it.
I just hope it happens sooner because I....can't