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Jul 2016
So I had something written down but then I completely erased it. It felt as if I wasn't saying much.

So I'll try this. In a relationship people always have this objective of trying to save someone. I don't know if that makes sense. But someone is always trying to be your hero. Like they feel that they have the power to make you feel safe yet be able to take that away from you. Because without a hero like maybe Superman or Spiderman where would the city be right?

But I think differently. Getting to know you made me realise something. I wanted to be my own hero so that I can be the best girlfriend ever. I wanted to be my batman so that I can protect you, my Gotham city.
But as time moved on. You opened wounded layers of me and you still are opening them. And you're by my side helping me close them. And then I thought to myself. Wow this girl is amazing.
She's not the typical I want to be your hero person any random person meets.

You showed me something about a relationship. It's not about being your own hero but that does play an important role. It's about finding someone who connects with you. It's about finding someone who's willing to help you with your journey. About finding someone who's helping save you. Someone who's by your side.
Like a sidekick. Most people think less of them. But look at Batman. He has Robin. And without him Gotham isn't safe.

Look at the Avengers as weird as it seems they have more than one person helping each other out.

Or even Spider-Man. He has his own guys with the help of Shield.

I'm getting to my point don't worry.

See the problem of having to be your own hero is that we have cracks that we can not get closure or get them filled alone. And for that we ignore them. And these cracks just keep on getting worse until we are at a point whereby we don't know. Literally we don't.

For example one of my cracks I have is my lack of confidence.
On my own. I would have probably ignored it or come up with a situation whereby I just need to lose more weight. I'd probably be anorexic by now.

But because I have someone like you. I'm finding ways of trying to appreciate myself. Because I'm a beautiful person. I'm a good kid. My baby says so and it's true.
You help me help myself be better. You're by my side as I try to save and find myself.

Which is something I want to do for you
It's something I'm going to do for you. I want to be your sidekick. Your Robin.
Opening up is hard. I know and I understand. I care so very deeply for you baby. Shucks I'm madly in love with you
I want what's best for you. I want you to have the most amazing life ever. I want your heart and mind free from everything that torments you.

But what I do not want to do is force you ever.
I will never get impatient with you. And even if you push me away. I'll stay right here and keep it solid.
Each time you're sad. I'll type the longest message ever. Especially if I can't get to you immediately

I love you. I really do
And I'm here. To talk or not, I know that sometimes we just need to be there for one another and not talk. Just for us to embrace each others presence and I'll be there for that

I'm your Reastar
Your girlfriend
Your best friend
I'm yours
Realeboga M
Written by
Realeboga M  Can I even say I am here?
(Can I even say I am here?)   
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