recently
ive been feeling
alone
and not just the lonley
where your lacking a person
or a presence
an alone where you cant feel anything
and it feels like your stomach
is droping from the top of a rollercoaster
and it is because of you

you, you, you, you, everyone

and i hate it. i cannot change it

i have no control
and i like having control
over my own emotions
i cannot feel anything
my brain
is in a soft fuzzy blanket
i cannot feel
my stomach
the acid burns it numb
and my heart
it has stopped
dead in my throat
my eyes
have become blind
by the boiling aogny flowing out
my mouth
the words gushing out
cut it, emotions choking me

i long
to not be able to feel
because numbness
is

  forever


          agony