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Olivia Anderson Sep 2014
There was so much good in you
I drank you in
Until I finished the cup
And was satisfied.

I breathed you in deep
Just so I could feel the burn
Of the air I took in
To remind me of you.

My greatest victory was in patience:
Waiting for myself to be ready
And finally knowing
When not to wait.
So many stones have been thrown at me,
That I'm not frightened of them anymore,
And the pit has become a solid tower,
Tall among tall towers.
I thank the builders,
May care and sadness pass them by.
From here I'll see the sunrise earlier,
Here the sun's last ray rejoices.
And into the windows of my room
The northern breezes often fly.
And from my hand a dove eats grains of wheat...
As for my unfinished page,
The Muse's tawny hand, divinely calm
And delicate, will finish it.
Olivia Anderson Jul 2014
I must say a word about fear.
It is life’s only true opponent.
Only fear can defeat life.
It is a treacherous adversary.
With no decency, respect,
no law or convention;
it shows no mercy.
It goes for your weakest spot,
found with unerring ease.
It always begins in your mind.

One moment you are calm,
self-possessed,
happy.
Then fear, disguised as doubt,
slips into your mind.
Doubt meets disbelief
and disbelief tries to push it out.
But disbelief is poorly armed,
and doubt does away with it with little trouble.
You become anxious.
Reason comes to do battle for you.
You are reassured.
Reason is fully equipped.

To your amazement,
despite tactics and numerous victories,
reason is laid low.
You feel yourself weakening.
Your anxiety becomes dread.
Your body is aware something terribly wrong is going on.
Already your lungs have flown away like a bird!
Your ears go deaf,
Your muscles quiver,
and your knees shake as though they were dancing.
Your heart strains too hard,
and so does the rest of your body.
Every part of you falls apart.

Only your eyes work well.
They pay attention to fear.
Quickly, you make rash decisions.
You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust.
There, you’ve defeated yourself.
Fear, an impression, has triumphed over you.
The matter is difficult to put into words;
Real fear shakes your foundation.
It nestles in your memory.
It seeks to rot everything,
even the words with which to speak of it.

You must fight hard to express it,
to shine the light of words upon it.
If you don’t,
If your fear becomes a wordless darkness you avoid,
perhaps even forget,
You open yourself to further attacks of fear.
You never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.
December 2013, inspired by the book Life of Pi.
Olivia Anderson Jul 2014
My favorite feeling is coming out of a restaurant
cheeks are flushed, and eyes are lively
everyone is high on a strange syrupy feeling
how it makes you feel so sleepy, yet so awake
clattering of plates, clinking of perspirating glasses
the soft glow makes everything seem more beautiful.

It’s there I see you, for the first time, I really see you.
Small smile and all, amid the roar of conversation
time doesn’t stop; it become preserved in memory
it becomes a part of how I will always remember you

Your breath lulls me in, calls to me
sweet words pull out of your mouth
like bubbles escaping languidly
for a moment, all is dampened as if we’re under water
sanguine, hearty, I am happily trapped
in this space with you
May 2014
Olivia Anderson Jul 2014
I have forgotten what day it is
I have forgotten what day it is
my purpose is to wait-
and long for you to
Address me, dress me, hold
me.
promise me; the blue sky I grow lustful
and drunk over.
tide me over with
the hidden knowledge of
soothe-sayers
astronomers, those
who have a hand
inside of them
and His fire, blinding
and
bright and
alluring
in their eyes.

— The End —