they say
your first love hurts
but so does
your second
your third
your fourth

your last
when youre lying
on the floor
with cuts
deeper than the
first one.

and when you realize
that i don't need to be
fixed or saved
when you realize
that you can't just
glue me up or
tape me fixed
when you realize that
all i need is love
and not mending
when you realize that some
brokenness can't be fixed

you can come back
and i will let you.

in class
they asked us
if we were
afraid of the dark

no i'm not afraid
of the dark that
fills my room
at two a.m.

i'm not afraid of the dark
that engulfs
underground caves
or the darkness
submerged deep in
the atlantic ocean

but
i'm afraid of the dark
that seeps through
every fissure
and crevice
of my splintered heart;
the blackness that
cascades through
my veins
and the gloom
that fills my lungs
(with no room
for oxygen.)

yes, i'm afraid
of a certain kind
of darkness:
the kind that can't
be illuminated
by a flashlight

it's agonizing to know
that the remains of
the touch from
your delicate hands
that were
on my body

(and my soul)

will now be
placed everywhere
onto another
girl

your bitter words
felt like
heavy footprints
on my heart