A Stoned World Order    1996 -    
Dec 26, 2016

I tried to find out when exactly is that moment
When you love poetry
When you love being a writer

When do you sell your soul to a paper
& it gives back
At least twice as much

I was always excited when I get an idea...
A strange thought while I'm on the road
A glimpse of a newborn world
In the middle of the night
A word you say that breeds a thousand more
More poetic
More aesthetic
More ecstatic
But not as honest
As they were when you spoke

Some love the part when they sink into words...
As you always did
When these skies get too dark
& you find your shining shore
To write away the pain
& make it beautiful
A land of fantasy
A world that makes you free
Your room of insanity
& what once hurt, now shines from your ink
Like the soul you've been born with

& some love reading
Their own hearts in these letters
Over & over again
Until every meaning gets so clear
So strong
& so different
That it becomes invisible
Until you see that others
Didn't even catch the tiniest part
Of your chaotic universe

But it's not that simple to know
Where exactly is the joy of writing
It's more simple than that...

Loving poetry
Is like loving a person
Like loving you
In every way possible
Every part of it
& all of it
That's why I never liked poetry
I loved it
Without any complication
Or doubt


This is dedicated to all of you poets here on HP, but it's also a special dedication to certain people that can somehow find themselves in these lines - I was writing about you
May 13, 2016

her name was...
a flickering light
in the dance of shadows
leading my way
towards halls of the sun
yearning for this silent shore,
as it glows
stretched beyond the dreams
to which we could run
soft & soothing,
alone it rose to mend
a piece of sky we once thought
came to end
descending from another lifetime,
we lost
everlasting warmth of hearts,
in the frost
meeting in a different
circle of lives
arose a new, brighter light
to lift the veil
resting in a dawn of whispers,
it thrives
zeal for tasteful colors
within the pale
only kept safe
inside this endless tale


Oct 2, 2016

Wherever I go,
I'll leave one poem for you
On every wall, in every room
I'll place the stones on shores
so that they sing your name

Wherever I go,
I'll leave one poem for you
All the love letters I'll leave on benches
& every word you read
Will carry a part of me

Wherever I go,
I'll leave one poem for you
Even in the clouds you'll see the rhymes
If trying to find me
Somehow, you get lost

Wherever I go,
I'll leave one poem for you
But if I never get away, there's one you can read
It's written in my soul
& it carries your name


Jan 30

In the silence of a freeway,
the same old sky seems so new
Stillness within comes so slowly,
to reshape my thoughts of you
There's no better place I'll go to,
no cities for me to paint
Just another pattern road trip
replicating my restraint

All the people that I'm seeing have a life
Or so it seems?
Walking down familiar streets,
kissing shadows, chasing dreams
Do they see the same horizons
with their glassy, vacant eyes?
Could they ever tell the difference
between sunset & sunrise?

All the words we left unsaid,
will memories let them resound
to remind of the reflections
that our faces never found..?
& when passengers walk by,
will they even see us there
Just two strangers, or ghosts of love
On our long road to nowhere...?

Somewhere on a fading freeway
I gave my dreams the release
As they drowned in stillness of
my new, failed masterpiece
Deconstructed anamnesis, a lost soul
in its own grip
Nothing matters, only moving,
On this lonesome, strange road trip


Oct 4, 2016

You'll never become a memory
'cause I know you'll always stay
Even when rains are disguised as sun
& the nights get dressed as day
So, if I'm lost & you can't find me
Or the words are forgotten, unclear
Remember, you'll never be in the past
'cause I know you'll always be here

You'll never become a memory
'cause I will never go away
& when through storms you reach for me
Words won't be needed to say
That everything now is forgotten
But us & the new world we made
You'll never become a memory
& surely not the one that will fade


Feb 1

There's a part of all of us
In stories no one tells
There are pieces of our dreams
In hands of someone else
There are words we wish we wrote
In dark we'd steal away
There are nights when we dream
What we'll make true in the day

There are tales of lost horizons
& lands made of gold
& those that words can't describe
So they'll remain untold
Descriptions of sacred cities
All the worlds remote
Mountains that we wish we've seen
& lines we wish we wrote

There's a part of everyone
Promises we once made
In all sunsets that we've seen
& the lights that never fade
Places only found in mind
& those that heart explores
There are many stories read
But there's only one that's yours

There are skies we'll never see
Lands still dark & strange
& so many lives we know of
But we'll never change
What remains but just one wish
The sight of a falling star
To learn we are what we write
& we write all that we are


Apr 23, 2016

Let's escape
From this shaded life of colored screens
Diminished feelings and beautiful lies
Imposed memories and digital skies
Let us form the future with our dreams

Let's escape
From these places that we once called home
Of faded sunlight and moon's false romance
Born of painful whispers in a cold embrace
Of all the worlds we know, let us find our own

Let's escape
From the lives that were maybe born to fade
From the sun that always burns our eyes
Let us grab as many stars from the skies
And find Forever on that silent shore we made


Jun 2, 2016

A frozen bunch of slow-motion lives,
stippled by the bleak ground
So many destinies forsaken
by the coldness of circumstance
Walking beside the fires
of a night devoid of stars and sound
The future persevered in a broken mirror,
merely to be kissed by a glance

On a fading road,
stained by the light of new creations
We drown in ourselves,
crawling silently,
strained in the shell
Overwhelmed by the sea
of our thunderous expectations
Floating in the suspense contracted
between heaven and hell

Paralyzed in nothingness,
voices shimmer in a darkened spot
Bleeding hands of endless days
drifting straight into the ocean
of oblivion;
a book of prophecy left to fade and rot
Behind the looming seconds
of reinless devotion

The lights fade out
& the voices stray into rain
Years wrapped in our silence
come back to seconds of irrational fear
The angels leave or melt
beneath the sun,
torn in placid pain
We stand still, lost spirits,
because the end is never near


Jan 25

& here I stand
An impatient man only wishing to fade
A silent child; lonely, but never afraid
A dying world of words carelessly displayed

So, here I am
Surrounded by shadows I adorned with lies
Beneath long sought, eternally raining skies
I am just this chaotic world moving clockwise

& here I drown
For everything in me that was ever true
For that lost longing to drown within the blue
Here I drown, in a world that I never knew


May 21, 2016

"Let me slip
Through the realm of your silent waves
& drift away with the sweet scent of a distant shore
Within the soft, restless tides
(Let me drown) within the blue, forevermore...

Let me swim
Through unknown worlds & darkest depths
Let me lose myself so once again I can be found
Let me drown
Within your thundering drops & calming whispers
Let me drown within you,
to escape the hungry ground

Let me drift
One day in eternity
Towards brighter skies & undiscovered coasts
New lands bathed in dazzling suns
& the fragrance of azure
Let me float forever with the paper boats"

After an eternity, I still repeat these words
Watching her dance & paint the dawn,
I sit upon the shore
Wishing I could be a part of her, one day
& drown within the blue, forevermore...


Dec 31, 2016

You're beautiful,
The way stars are after darkest nights when they dance
The way sorrow is, when found intertwined with rest
You're the softest beauty in every romance
The silence of my escape, in lost reflection blessed

You're beautiful
The way poems are, their secrets & mystique
The veil kept around you in colors now shines
Like compassion in the strong, & strength of the weak
You're a dream that no work of art defines

& in your beauty I'd bathe but I'm maybe too shy
To talk with the shapes on your lonely sky
& I find you in the balance of everything
The ocean blue of the child of spring

You're beautiful,
The way heaven should be
Just like a passing summer, tender & soft on our skin
But there's so much hidden, more than I can see
All the kindness & love kept deep within


May 28, 2016

Lost in the breeze
Of a road walked in dreams
Spinning in a „good times, bad times“ show
Drifting with night spirits
To catch the rain
Losing ourselves in the hues of afterglow

& everything we knew could be left behind
Sacred cities & haunted hotels
An imagined world we have designed
On a road leading somewhere else
Somewhere far away...

But still, towards you is where I need to head
Through a silent realm of summer rain
Where winds are my blanket & asphalt my bed
Where road is only doubt, memory & pain

For so many years we wished not to walk alone
Down the only path we should've known
After fate wanted us to punish & reward
With just another bump in the road

Now, of its bends we are a part
When all else is gone & only the road is true
(the one that will end when we need to start)
But for now... I'll just walk beside you
Somewhere far away...


Jan 5

...There are eyes I won't look into
Words I'll never say
There are roads I'll never walk down
My journeys through the grey
There are places I'll never see
People that won't stay
But there's still a life ahead
So why throw it all away

There are songs that I'll never sing
& dreams that won't come true
There are shadows I'll never cast
In my fading ocean blue
There are lies that I'll never tell
Truths I won't speak, but they're few
Years of loss & love ahead
So why forget you?

There are fears I won't discover
& those that must stay
There are nights to avoid sadness
But I'll suffer anyway
All the worlds I'll never mark
With the wishes that I lay
But there must be something more
So why throw it all away?

There are lives I'll never touch
Tears wrapped in crystal dew
So many things I've never done
Just so much more to do
There are flowers that will arise
Those that never grew
There must be love waiting somewhere
So why forget you?


Jan 20

I've felt the wave when you were born
That rhapsody within my veins
A heavy crown of thorns I've worn
A melting mask & rusted chains

I've heard the red skies weep for me
A trance within a milligram
I've burned in sullen ecstasy
To paint the dawn with what I am

The picture of a past life I've laid
Deep within the sand
& a cryptic writing
Only for the lost ones to understand
I've buried a heart of glass
That was ready to await
So that new worlds would grow
From the one that you create

But beyond the life we've known
Beyond the lines drawn to erase
Memory lost, a flower grown
Our love might have left the trace

That's how I felt that you were born
That rhapsody deep in my veins
A dream confined, but not forlorn
Like echoes of a thousand rains


Oct 12, 2016

I close my eyes & see a thousand roads gone by
Some never found & some yet to be revealed
Under the same stars in sorrow they lie
But the distance seems to have never healed

& I wonder...
Were they designed for our feet,
For us to come or to leave
I wonder if with late night sounds they'll greet
Or with silence, by waking remains of desires
When we fail to believe

So if you find yourself out there alone
A road that was destined to be walked by two
If the lost stars that I sent seem to be forever gone
Through dreams I'll reach out to find you
...'cause that's where I live

Just use one of our roads to find me there
I'll freeze the moment, capture the eternity
& gently lose myself within your stare
In a world where I will always be...


Mar 3

To all of you out there
With bloodshot eyes
Fake, faded smiles
& cautious lies
With painted grins
& different skins
artistic scars
& shattered stars
Someone said we've reached
The end of the line
Where the moon dwells
With a wicked face
& the sun doesn't want to shine
But we'll make the broken
Feel just like divine
The way we want
We'll make the dreams align
Into our world
Where beauty & madness entwine
We're finally going home
Yet filled with delight
So, why not just keep on dancing
As fools in the moonlight


Apr 12, 2016

Some words stain the papers, others decorate
With the poetic beauty of hell, when logic fades away
But the words weren’t enough for us to escape
And we got lost
Between the sheets of a familiar night
And the sidewalk of an uncertain day

And in the end, they’ll all be watching as we get knocked by the wave
By the wind of oblivion that’s crashing all the sounds
As I stare in tears at the flowers on your grave

And all those letters, words and smiles were left to brighten the room
A shell-shock of fantasy and a wasteland of decisions
Violently ending a string of silent sentiments, in bloom

And the wind whispered, the light gently caressed the tree
But it was no longer bright, and the grass was weeping
Only winds crying for the „King no one” inside of me

And the wind whispered, the moon sorrowfully sang to me
But it was no longer bright, and the grass was weeping
Only two words left to echo in the night, ‘enter reality’


Feb 19

You've seen the sun dying,
you know the day is near
When gone will be times of happiness & regret
& the world we've always known will disappear
But I know... not even then I could dare forget

I'll still love you through the thick skin
of the world's barren remains
I'll still hold the memory close
Push it deep into my veins
So when my blood will flow no more
The final dance with death
I'll still feel alive, keeping you in my withered breath

I'll still dream of springs that faded
Our imaginary land
I'll still remember the words
Letters buried in the sand
I will always see your face, looking back
through walls of mist
Phantom of my desire to hurt each moment I exist

I'll still feel the same as I did
The first moments that we shared
I'll still remember the skies
At which, in silence, we stared
So, maybe one day we will find
A haven for joyful tears
To throw behind the dead spirit of those hollow years

& when the sun dies
& there's no ground for memories to walk upon yet
When you see all the colors leaving my eyes
Remember that I still couldn't forget....


Apr 19, 2016

Wish I could go back to that neon blue dawn
Many years before I was born
And find her lying on the sheets of morn
A roaming soul on her earthly throne

Wish I could go back to find the child
Silent and fragile, but hungry for stars
Longing for world that would be ours
Within every pleasant moment she smiled

Wish I could take a walk through her sleep
And live those days she's never seen
Climbing our hill like a king and a queen
Wish I could only go that deep

Wish I could hold her hand and forget
Everything that couldn't become a dream
Eternal wish of our silver gleam
Wish I didn't wake up after we met


Dec 27, 2016

I'll never forget that day
The day that she walked in
With a heavy crown of doubts
& a halo painted gold
She never tried to hide
Words written on her skin
They were but a tale
That she never told

I'll never forget the day she stepped
In my world, so lone & blue
How she found it, why she longed for it
I guess neither of us knew
I said ''it's just my broken haven,
this room that you can see;
but won't you come
& won't you stay to share this world with me''

How I wish they'd let her stay...

I'll never forget the kiss of her fingers
A gentle whisper of ink
Just a thought, or a look into her eyes
& there was nothing else to think
I still dream that time was ours,
That this life would set us free
& then she'd come
& then she'd stay to share this world with me

Maybe the silence wanted us to split
Or it was the colors that could never fit
& when I knew it was her time to depart
I stole a little bit of her color
& splattered it on my heart

So that one day when I leave
& walk that road of countless miles
I can find her in the vale of dawn
Painting the world with her smiles
& I'll tell her ''there's so much more
to this world than we see,
so won't you stay forever to share it with me...?''


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