Id like to feel the joy of some one loving

Its seems
that i
Am caught
in webs
That i
once thought
I cleared
before
They rear
their heads
They mock
they laugh
Im stuck
i cant
Get out
no more

Had nothing to say
unlike brothers who outspoken
Unlucky that way
i see love in lots of movies
But never in life
he would toss his heart to wolves
Without thinking twice

Clouds and rainy days
sunshine and bliss
Cupid hit me very often
the other he'd miss
Been around the block a lot
my legs are enduring
Yet im still uncomfortable between this place and the rock

Sometimes i don't belong in my skin
depression would have me aching while i held it within ;  
While wishing he had somebody
somebody who could destroy this
He let his sadness take over like how devils posses..

I really do belong in my skin
love would have me cursing at the heavens above
Many would **** their brother
like abel and cain ;
He'd show love to one another
the sisters the sons and mothers
Only way of escaping inescapable pain..

I wish i could belong in my skin
body cold like heavy snow all-though he's warmer within ;
While wishing he had somebody
somebody who he could cuddle
Somebody who'd help rebuttal devils talking to him;
he gave up.

The rabbit laughing as he passes the turtle
theres a pit coming up
now his body is curdled

There was this kid in college
pursuing his growth with knowledge
Towards elders he payed his homage
although troubled inside ;

Everyday after classes
fraternities caught em slackin
They told em he should be packin
he should not hold no pride ;

He questioned why they aint like em
they beat em and tried to sike em
Quit often at school he's frightened
out his mind he would go ;

After he called his master
jehovah many don't know off
The holy among the holies  
he would cry for his help ;

Why do you let them do this
they ruthless
Beating me toothless
he knew this but he said nothing
It was all in his plan ;

Walking from class and thinking
he saw em tried to avoid em
They followed to leave em hollow
he was angry inside ;

They smacked em
about the action
One had a bat and swung it
they took his bag and they flung it
He type wanted to die ;

Now months had passed he was enduring the stress
grades declining
Sorrow climbing
wasn't doin his best

Oh how could he achieve
soar and reach for his dreams
When these ******* kept him under
forced a trick up his sleeve ;

It was sunny-
he was bummy as he usually was
He approached em after class
they where they usually was
They had laughed in his face ;
called em broke and a ******
Wasn't laughing for long
since he pulled out the matic ;

Sporadic they started movin
the fear in they faces soothin
He told em you try to run
im puttin lead in you all ;
One pushes his homie forward
while falling hes contemplating
Debating why they had caused this
bullets fly out the gun ;
He wet up the one who fell
they others had tried to scatter
A marksmen right at that moment
he had aimed for they heads ;

Laughing while he had killed em
four out of the five had fallen
The last of em slowly crawling
he walked up to him fast ;
Crouching he looked right at em
he pleaded we were just joking
Fun poking he said he's sorry
Jacob laughed in his face

Last of the fallen bullies
was crying as he was dieing
Delighted the bummy murderer put two in his brain ;

He said look at you now
i will not be destroyed
By the likes of you all
the police had been called ;

The sirens he heard em comin
he figured no sense in runnin
Since god had never responded
**** this life aint my own ;

His eyes had looked upward gazing
he felt his sorrow degrading
Visions of success fading as he let himself go ;

With the gun to his head
tried to finish himself
Heard it click several times
their were no bullets left ;

Now the cops are arriving
his heart was dropping and diving
His bravery was comprising of the bullets he had ;
figured jail was no option
They'd **** em
he couldn't stop em
So thinking quickly decided he would die by the ops ;

Their screaming telling him freeze
no time for buckling knees
He bolted headfirst at cruisers screaming top of his lungs ;

The officers open fire
fulfilling desperate desires
His soul would have raised higher had he tried something else ;

Now wet up he couldn't get up
but happy free from his burdens
His parents died long ago so he had no real regrets ;

DMT danced inside him
it took him to early childhood
Remembered when his parents had been loving him so ;

Toward fire he was descending
escaping is now pretending
While burning he saw the bullies he had sent to this place ;

While tortured they chained together
their skin was hanging and tethered
No laughing no getting over what his life had become ;

No resolve but the truth  
their was no going back
If your seeking revenge
you should prolly relax..

I heard
the lord did nothing for a loser
Why create me a shoddy willed drug abuser ;
used to watch when small as the sun rise and fall
Now i sit inside but cant escape the fiery ball
crippled by depression
My weapon is my mind
so of-course it figures
into it devils grind ;
Their paws
the people clapped their hands and show applause
When another brother who mislabeled is in gauss  
quick to point the finger
"Muslims are the enemy"
"evil white oppressor"
Aren't we all the same
the only standing difference
Is skin color and name..

I heard ;
that dog eat dog was never the way
As if people were at peace before on some later date
planned on bringing wood to burn
To reset that fire ;
till i grew to know my brothers and became uninspired..
My heart is often shriveled
anxiety derailing
As if before i start i slip and fall already failing
i heard that god was evil
He basked in the light
if you questioned his work
you were cast in the night
I would sit in the trees
when the sun's feeling down
As i spoke to the moon
with my feet off the ground.