I live in my poems    2000 -    
Would you like to try my glasses?
Would you like to try my glasses?

/  / He
sees.

He sees -
all -
their fucking pain...
that's the first problem:
Their pains
disrupt his nervous system,
his brain chemicals.
{Stress hormones.} \ \

Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!


I just can't fucking help them all!
...Why,
can't I
fucking help them all?


---e-x-h-a-l-e---

Close your eyes,
they're not there -
close your eyes...
so you don't see the pain
hiding behind their disguise.
Close your eyes -
and sleep.
Sleep...
run away -
before you can't anymore
and you end up like before
staring with dead eyes
at your bedroom's ceiling.


Please,
let me run away:
please,
don't you see your own fucking tears?
Can't you see it's hurting
to see all of them hurting
and having your happiness shorten -
because you've lost your lucky button.


<<<<y-o-u...c-a-n-n-o-t...s-a-v-e...t-h-e-m...a-l-l.>>>>

Inhale...yeah, hold your breath -
but science from grade 9
says you'll just pass out.

.
.
.
.
.
/  /Problem number 2:

They don't
see...
his...
\ \

/  /omniscient narrator\ \
Bold and italics - me#1
Bold - me#2

I quite like this :3
#poet   #lonely   #pain   #he   #problems   #empath   #disguise   #sees  

Umm...
I'm too busy
trying to survive -
over here:
don't fucking come
with your fucking feelings...
Please don't.
Being a nice guy
is so damn exhausting
don't make your sweet
lovestruck face
be the first victim
of the...
real..
me.

Tired :/
#love   #fake   #crush   #tired   #nicguy   #peopleppleaser  
  Jan 21  Nameless Wonder
holy boy
holy boy
Oct 5, 2016

I see a little bit of myself in everyone I know

x

But I see so much of me in you

x

I wonder if you see it, too

  Jan 21  Nameless Wonder
holy boy
holy boy
Nov 15, 2016

I was shaking
staring at the damp cracked ground, avoiding your eyes at all costs

The weight of my thoughts pushing me over and making me hunch

I said a lot of dumbed down things that I didn't really mean
because I didn't think you would understand
or care, really

I did everything I could to keep you as far away as possible

"I'm just.. a tired person. Complex. I have a lot of things going on, yeah."

"Can you tell me about it?"

It kind of caught me off guard, most people don't try that hard to know me

"There's not much to me."
Simple, something I assumed you'd take at face value

"I want to know you.
Everything about you."

It scared me, like you were trying to hurt me or like you were trying to get some kind of twisted confession from me

I pushed those thoughts aside, because you aren't like that

With a slight chuckle I asked,
"Why on Earth would you want to know that?"

"Because I like you,"

I tried to avoid your face still,
But I couldn't help it

You must have had me under a trance

Every time you spoke my distance dissolved

"You okay?"

You smiled in the way that you do

I was smiling too

Then you took my hand

And for once in my life

There was no distance

#love   #trust   #rain   #distance  

I actually nearly forgot
where the
"Add a poem"
button resided
on this website.

I nearly forgot
the location
of the portal
through which my mouse
had been through
more than
A thousand times.

I nearly forgot
The little collection of pixels
On my computer
And phone screen
That relieved me
Of thoughts during tormenting nights...
Or tears
When I had the comfort of loneliness
In times of complete confusion
And uncontrollable emotions...
Or laughs
As I humorously narrated
My failed expeditions to the hearts of girls...
Or boredom
As I stood, with no life
With fingers hovering
Above a collection of lettered tiles
Trying to stir up feelings
For the hopeless romantic
And imaginations
For the fantasy-loving adventurer.

I actually nearly forgot
where the
"Add a poem"
button resided
on this website.

...
It's gone.

Self-explanatory...  No comment :v
  Dec 29 2016  Nameless Wonder
Beinghonest
Beinghonest
Feb 7, 2016

Love is amazing
Heartbreak is shitty,
Loneliness is simply depressing.

-just being honest
  Dec 22 2016  Nameless Wonder
Amethyst Fyre
Amethyst Fyre
Dec 21, 2016

There's a first time for everything, I guess

My initiation to the cult of harm came last night
After I'd made sure everyone had gone to bed
Crept over by the window and moonlight
Placed my arm on the altar in front of me
Mechanically, efficiently swabbing it with alcohol
Scent sterile
For even in this, I will hold onto the pretense of a rationalist

I deride myself, tell myself I'm just going through with it because it's what people would expect from the depressed
That I could stop myself easily and so it's my fault if I don't
But god, I want to lose control so badly

The needle skitters across my skin and I shiver
It dances swirls along my arm
You don't need blood and scars for pain

It scrapes angrier against my skin
And a blissful silence pierces my head
As my own voice fades from between my ears

It's a trance-like happiness
A closed-eyed, fluttering-lashes smile
A beautiful pain throbbing, bringing me back to myself
I could have stayed up hours on that one taste of losing control
But this was just an initiation so I dragged myself away

There's not a trace the next day
Except in my mind where I hunt for all acceptable forms of pain
Push on your bruises, a friend advised
Pencil tips, pens

I stop myself
I resist
I said I wasn't going down this path

I'm on my own in August, I only have to make it to then
Then help, so no more of this

I wait until everyone falls asleep again
And though I am exhausted, stumble toward the moonlight
Sterilize, needle in hand, ready to dance

I refuse to go any farther, I tell myself

Death laughs from inside my head
Baby steps he snickers and
Isn't that what you said last time, doll?

There's a first time for everything after all

I won't,
I reassure the needle tracing kisses across my skin.
I'm fine.

 
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