I am a challenge, your own personal jigsaw puzzle.
You scattered my pieces all over your dinner table, sorting them into rough edges and smooth centers, completing me slowly from the outside in, until one day you decided that your fingers were too worn to continue.
An incomplete project, counting it as a loss, of interest and time and space in your too small, already cluttered world.
A picture that could have been beautiful, a landscape of somewhere you had only dreamed of, but instead discarded as simply a silly distraction, something too childish for your mature mind.
You left me fragmented and dispersed, disorganized when you knew I needed everything to be in one place, together, whole.
You never finish what you start, and I knew that from the beginning. I just hoped I could be the one thing you stuck around long enough to solve.

Eyes closing in the driver's seat
and maybe it's because I'm tired or maybe
I'm proving a point
You had one rule
break it if it's not broken and
I wasn't but I hid faster than you could shoot
you're still looking for me
shotgun in hand
but bullets don't go through
layers of glass and polycarbonate material
and I'm made of it
I hope your future children ask about the scar under your chin
and you tell them like my frantic nails had nothing to do with it
People look at me like I'll die
at the mention of your name but
you're in the back of an ambulance
every time I say I love him more than I ever loved you
Don't kid yourself
I only have real feelings when
they're artificially put in my bloodstream
but even then you can't call it authentic

Took out an entire city looking for myself one night
Heaven wasn't at the bottom of those bottles
Well it never was
but it's on your lips and I need it
I used to write sad things about the boy who
wanted to **** me for fun
but he's dead now and I'm just saying
they do call me the love arsonist
If refusing to be quieted for anyone's convenience is illegal,
I'll take the twenty-five to life,
If loving you is a crime
I want the ******* death sentence

Well kiss me again
God I love it
I don't really believe in God but I believe in your pulse
close enough
I'll melt for you just like plastic in fire
Diamond to my glass but you'll never catch me
letting myself be extinguished for anyone else
I was ten years old and my Dad said
Honey
Keep your bags at the front door because you never know
when you will be forced to run
like he ran from my Mother it's fine
I mean it's fine
because well, he leaves his shoes at the front door
and not the back I need that
But Dad
believe me
There's no point in being a diamond if you can bite right through it
That kind of love isn't emotionally cheap
My family is always looking at me like they're
waiting for me to be Niagara Falls
but I'm Manhattan, concrete
Hold me down and make sure the neighbours are home
Give me the test
I'll take it

I'm a ******* trophy, and I don't need a safeword
because intimacy is a waste of my time if
I don't feel like I can't breathe at least once
Sure I'll say but my face will be the same color as my blood
or my favourite lipstick
Wear me around his neck if he could
I know, he told me
I love you beyond the moaning, I do
that's not all there is to me
How many times do I have to say it now?
I don't start fires, I am the fire
Love won't die unless you ****** it
and I don't believe in violence
Gasoline veins since birth so the right person
could throw a match on me
so throw a match on me, I know it's you
Have you ever tried swimming with your arms
tied behind your back, that's how you make me feel sometimes
Sorry
People would love to identify my body at the morgue
especially the ones who put it there
someone already tried to put it there
but no one wants to hold a dead thing

When someone says "I love you"
I struggle to believe it, regardless of sincerity
A year ago I should've shoved a rifle down your throat
and shot the insanity out of your stomach
I would have covered a bullet in my lipstick
and left it in your skull,
You always thought I couldn't get into your head.

Love's not a weapon
and I'd never use it as one like you did
but hate is, and I hang my loathing for you
in an expensive frame on the wall
I'm proud to display your irrelevancy and sociopathic tendencies like an art gallery

I've written letter after letter
but I can't give you the contents of my heart
in just blue ink and paper
I want you to make me feel
as if you've taken all my air and replaced it with yours
Understand that I was low-key in love with you
until that one night in December, or was it November?
and now I can't stop saying "I love you" between kisses
I'm 50% dreamgirl and 50% wildfire
but you've never thrown water on me
My hand was always three inches above the panic button
until you took it away from me
Safe to say --  I'm half crazy for your love
I've been restless my entire life
So who are you to come and tire me out?
I'd let you steal the blood from my veins
and replace it with cyanide if it made you happy
I'm going to carve our names into a tree
and hope my heart doesn't send the place up in flames
I'd apologize for all the pointless, kind of dumb things I say
but you made my heart beat so hard
It's all I can manage to hear sometimes
but no part of me feels guilty
for wanting to kiss you until I lose my mind and find it again
The constellations are ugly compared to your smile

Am I being clear?
Never liked being transparent.
I know you think most literature is pointless, irrelevant
but this is like watching my brain and heart
**** each other on paper, neither of them ever dies though
Can you tell by the way I say, whisper your name?
Wide-eyed at 3AM because I stopped taking sleeping pills
So I can lie awake thinking about the last time
you touched me, not just touched me - and kissed me on the head
I used to **** love for fun
Now if I ever deny loving your every cell,
every functioning polygraph in the world,
would break at the same time
Maybe you won't understand but I think you do
I've decided calling you my 'drug of choice' is too cliche,
but how else do I say I'm hooked
and I don't need 12 steps for this addiction.
You're counting me down at my front door,
my heart is dynamite at that point but all I can whisper is
"I love you"
So I guess, I love you
I mean, I love you
You make me feel like someone going the wrong way
down a one-way street. I love it.