Something so unreal it has to be a dream.
Something so logical, I know that it’s not.
Something I’m so sure of now,
And thus have no choice but to question.

I know I should run,
Run and never look back.
But as soon as I’ve left the door,
As soon as the quarter totters between heads and tails,
I will know I’ve made a mistake.
Or I will know I have not.

No matter, it will be too late.

But if the door is never touched,
I will never leave.
I will never see objectively.
Forever swept up,
Forever locked up,
Forever so sure of him and me.
“Welcome to the game of life,” says he.

She drew a breath and let it go as she crept closer to the edge. She shivered as her toes, painted pink, hugged the ledge.  She brushed a trespassing orange hair from her brow and and stretched her arms to the sky.  Took one final breath as she closed her eyes.  She leapt.  Pushed her heels into the ground. Then the pads of her toes.  The tips of her toes.  She extended her arms and flew.  And as the world whizzed past in vibrant blacks and grays, the ground below her exploded into detail.  It was amazing.  Beautiful.  The memories of her past were far from her mind, everything terrible shut behind the blinds.  The ground rose up to meet her and caressed her cheek.  She regained her senses for only a moment and her green eyes flashed a smile.  She opened her hands and pressed her fingers to the cool concrete and as a chill ran through her veins.  The corners of her perfectly red lips pulled into a gentle smile, and she was happy.  Her eyelids fluttered and then laid motionless above her freckled cheeks.  She faded as she melted into the ground.----- Her nose twitched and wrinkled to the singe of winter’s chill and the smell of hospital food.  She awoke, eyes closed, to the rhythmic chirp of an EKG machine.  She ran her hand up her arm and felt the IV and needles.  She slowly came out of unconsciousness and felt pain and then her mothers fingers entwined between hers.  She knew it was her.  She knew the shape of her hands well.  Every curve and wrinkle, the indent from where her mother’s wedding ring once sat for so long, but not anymore.  She felt the hands that had held her for sixteen years.  Her eyes slowly flicked open and she found the flustered but relieved visage of her mother. The girl shut her eyes, quick.  Hoping they would never open again.

Even when we fight,
Never forget to kiss me goodnight.

I tried to paint you a picture,
But the colors were all wrong.
Blatant honesty,
And now you’re gone.
When I figure everything out,
I’ll let you know,
But until then,
All you and I can do is let the future unfold.
I don’t know what I want,
But I don’t want this.
I think I’ve lost a best friend,
And it all started with a kiss.

I’m so unsure and so confused
I honestly have never been so torn between what to choose
What if the right one for me was you
And you’re the one I was most scared to loose
And that’s the honest truth

Something was different about you
And it’s not something I can explain
It’s not one thing
Not a list with traits I can to pick and choose
It’s just you
Only you

My chest is heavy and my eyes are blurry
Cause my head says go but my heart knows to worry
That I should have chosen you
And I don’t know why I do what I do
But I had that moment to choose
And I didn’t choose you.

You held me when I cried
You put your hands on my sides
And you always knew the words to make me smile
You didn’t even try
And thats why I fell for you
Just you
Only you.

When I was with you,
You were you
And I was me
And somehow it was perfect harmony
But I picked him cause he was new
But I’m still not sure that was the right thing to do

I just need time to unblur the thoughts in my head
So I can decide what needs to be done and said
But you’re right,
You’re only you.
Just you.
Only you.
And please never change.
Cause I love everything you do.
Just you.
Only you.

A ship in its harbor is always safe,
But that’s not why ships are built.
Ships exist to carry passengers
And wobble through ocean’s stilts.
She is not built to never leave
Or face a dangerous trip.
It’s made to face the roaring seas
Even if her frame will rip.
At least she had a story,
At least she lived her life.
At least she saw the world
And lived with confidence and strife.
Ships are made to be used
And their underbellies torn.
It’s holes to be patched
And wooden body worn.
But without wounds it would just sit.
Useless and rotting bit by bit.
Withering away until her maker tears her up
Or gives her away to simply fill his cup.
A boat whom never sees the war
Can never say she’s tried.
A boat who’s never held the wounded,
Can never say she’s cried.
And a boat who’s never lived a life
Can never say she’ll die.