The stars might look like
milky bones from afar.
Or glowing tennis *****,
still clutched in owner's hands
while the dumb dog
chases something hidden.

Did he stick his head
out the window of the spaceship?

Tongue out,
howling.

Did he know the hole
he had dug
was his own grave?

I hate when owners
pretend to throw a ball,
only to hide it behind their backs.

The dog trusts you.
The dog loves you.
The dog loves life.
The dog doesn't want to die.
The dog doesn't deserve to die.
The dog doesn't care about exploring space,
it just wants to find that ******* ball.

Float on the grass,
sun streaming through eyelids.
Draw the blinds,
still looking up.
For a moment,
those tree branches look like clouds,
their leaves starkly white.
Red looks like sin.
For a moment,
I can understand why
Eve did it.

Change.
Don't.
Hands through water,
upside down, watch the sun ripple.
Stand in the shower-
sit in the shower,
breath through the water,
imagine what it might be like to drown.
Air hugging lungs for the first time,
pretend the water is rain.
Walking home
(you have a home),
and it's raining.
Didn't think to grab an umbrella.
Don't care.

When your hands are cold, always trust in a hot water faucet.

Clouds are made of water.
Makes sense to float on air.

And you tell yourself you'll change.
And you don't.
And you push your hand through the water,
turn upside down, watch the sun ripple.
And you stand in the shower-
No, you sit in the shower,
and you breath through the water,
and you imagine what it might be like to drown.
And it feels like air is hugging your lungs for the first time,
curl upside down, pretend the water is rain.
And you're walking home, because you have a home,
and it's raining.
And you didn't think to grab an umbrella.
And you don't care.

When your hands are cold, always trust in a hot water faucet.

Clouds are made of water.
It makes sense to feel like you're floating on air.

And you tell yourself you'll change.
And you don't.
And you push your hand through water,
turn upside down and watch the sun ripple.
And you stand in the shower-
No, you sit in the shower,
and you breath through the water,
and you imagine what it might be like to drown.
And it feels like air is hugging your lungs for the first time, curl upside down,
and pretend the water is rain.
You're walking home, because you have a home,
and it's raining.
And you didn't even think to grab an umbrella.
And you don't care.
When your hands are cold, always trust in a hot water faucet.
Flipping 36 times in a row, blowing air out my nose.
And I remember that.
Clouds are made of water,
so it makes sense to feel like you're floating on air.

So I won't **** myself

My room smells like a funeral.

Mother never let me drink her special juice.
Pants around ankles,
she cried in the garage because
she just couldn't make it to the bathroom.
A child isn't meant to change
her parents'
diapers.

She almost died once,
three percent chance of living.
I’m ten, and
in the back of my mind
all I can think
is maybe now
she’ll stop drinking.

She doesn’t.

But she bought me a bouquet of flowers,
peace treaty blemished by thorns.

I often think upon your funeral,
and I have a suspicion
it will smell like this.