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Leks Jan 2014
alas my long lost friend
Alas..

(Deep breath)

I have not forgotten our conversations that streched in the darkness of our room and grabbed dreams as hot as the sun and as bright as the nebula of dying stars

I have not forgotten your comfort/advice within my addiction
I spent 365 days with you and gained insight every single second spent in your Presence

(Chuckles subtely)

Your parlance was weak but mine wasn't so we balanced out perfectly
Your profanity was like honey to my ears and mine, well, mine was incrypted silently within my laughters with you

I remember the day we spoke freely about our ambitions and hopes in life it was so beautiful that today my friend those words vaguely linger on my tongue as we were also young so our minds were like young hungry wolves out for their first hunt.
I loved it

We spoke until our sleep was in sync it intertwined so well that we sleept at the exact same time I was grateful that we were both silent/light sleepers as every sound through the window you valiantly probed me to open was of nature and the moon illuminated our room like our own star we rarely left our curtains open but when we did -- it was beautiful
I sometimes stayed awake to see the clock hit mid night just to soak it -- as my mind roamed free after mid night

Oh my friend..

How I miss our immature scenerios of how the world would end and the lustful rants about the girls/women we wish to devour on this god forsaken planet we call earth
The way we spoke about music as if we were there in the studios of the vast array of artists that we spoke about
Frank ocean
The Script
Flying Lotus
Red Hot Chili Peppers
And many others...
We talked and talked and talked and talked until the duty prefects grew slim of our horiddly loud rants you would take the blame, that way we both knew we wouldn't be punished as you were considered a fragment of gold for the school and I merely silver and silver is not nearly better then gold

(Chuckles wholely)

Our laughs coexisted like a melody only mozart could compose our inside jokes made people sick of our ability to laugh in complete silence by merely communicating through eye contact it was delightful/enlightening

Oh and your mind
You underestimated it to be honest. You were top twenty in the grade but your mind did not reflect this. For some reason I was the only one who could unlock the intellectual matter out of your vanity case (brain)
It made me feel special as at the time I was a minority and your companionship had me placed on a golden pedestal
I probed you about the effects of marijuana that you seemed so eager to explore but in my mind a dark shadow over my words grew as I knew the effect of marijuana on the first timer I knew I had to be in the prescence and high enough to not be consumed by it as marijuana was embedded in my vescular codes
...
There were times when I was high for a whole week and you didn't notice.
My eyes were blood shot but I'd usually use the excuse of being tired and you'd accept it quite humbly
Your friends became my friends
My friends became your friends
I feel like we started a revolution
You and I
As our peers did not coexist the way we made them to at the time
I did not tell you this as you would've probably thought I was high again

Oh my friend

You left nothing but nostalgia in my mind and lingering words/phrases you fervenly adored/abused, some even of my own
I embraced them.
I remember the hate I had for the smell of chlorine you brought into the room
I surpased that by remembering how bad you were at arguing as you walked in with a subtle smile and complete exhaustion in your eyes

I cowered into my books during study afraid to ask you for help as your focus could have intimidated einstein. I kept my doses of silence, lucky for me I had the privledge of listening to music so therefore my sanity was restored each 45 minute spent being confused

After study you became an animal probing me to join your adventures of havoc in the house I sometimes questioned how you were in the top 20 for academics but this was answered by remembering the greatest Philosophers that weren't sane at all not even in the little.

I was proud to call you my friend. Your pronounication of my nickname was incredible -- part of the reason to how it was infected into everyones vocabulary

Oh my friend whos name I shall not mention

I miss our vague chants of songs we merely heard in movies. Chants that made people feel vulnerible as your voice was completely horrid and mine exceptionaly melodic, the blend created a fine dose of old whisky
It was beautiful

(Sighs heavily)

But now my friend you are merely a fragment of nostalgia, a poem, a memory -- a lost memory
We are 365 days distant now and your reclusive persona makes me fear that our paths might not intertwine again.

Alas my old friend
Alas my lost friend

----

Leks
This is a poem to the universe
From a lost friend
Leks Jan 2014
Sublime wildflower

As I lay here awake from juxtaposed sleepless nights of thoughts of you as my own again

I wait..

I wait for a breakthrough through your pearl shaped, intricately carved paths and pink marble stone cover you call a brain
But my love..
I am using a chisel made from cotton candy and dead stars made of designer drugs and fragments of my pale fragile heart

As the chistel works its way through marinating the surface of your "brain" I wait attentively in amusement -
The type of amusement a child wakes up early to on christmas morning anxious to open the largest anonymous present under the tree
But unfortunetly he has not eaten yet, he has not brushed his teeth yet, he has not kissed his mother goodmorning yet or fetched dads newspaper under the mistletoe..

I write dispite of the chapters I have left unwritten to write your chapter (4)
I wait despite of the uncertainty my heart feels - I don't listen to him anymore by the way.

Waiting for you is like waiting for Winter again. I love Winter so I wait but in the process I fall in love with the shades of other seasons and that is the issue
My heart paves way to anything close to the words you spoke, the scriptures you wrote, the spaces you poked

I wait..

in lights of my fragile soul - I don't know if you haven't come to realize this already but it feeds of you, you are its daily grace as the bible is to a nun you are its *bible
and my soul, the nun

I await to love you again and I love that because you love me too and the love I have for you mutliplys by a thousand with each of the four letter word (love) mentioned in this here stanza including the one in brackets

I still really really love you

I won't pretend that I intend to stop living but I do intend to stay faithful to the love that you have given me.
As the constellations you have built inside my dark matter still shine/burn bright as our future together

-----

Leks
I was listening to frank ocean // sierra leone in the process of writing this
Leks Jan 2014
Calls her
Answers

What do you want?

(I want to love you the way you're father should've
I want to love you as much as my ashtray endures the company of marlboro buds

I want to touch you the way you described the way you want it in your tweets about an imaginary lover that makes so much sense to you

I want to dissolve myself in your virginity, take it from you, eat your inoccence out,quench my lust for the taste of the pigment of your pink matter, confirm your place in the realm of the vanity case locked with ****** deviance

I want to confess to your holy alter that I will sin and that you are the sin and speak in tongues down your alter till it confess too
I want to humble myself with my hands together as you feel my genitals with your sacred crimson lips

I want to grab your hips tightly and have conversations with you, using nothing but my eyes,my tongue and my ten fingers
I want to fervently follow this routine like your my own beautiful ten commandments
And the 1. Clearly states in italics --  *thy shall quench thirst


I want to show you that...)
  
Hangs up

*Commits suicide
Its a bad religion to be in love with someone who could never love you
Leks Jan 2014
Imagine the dialogue between a bird and the cage,
the conversation between a wound and time.
Oh
Imagine the letters a desert writes to the rain.
Leks Dec 2013
You have to find the right distance
between people.
Too close,
and they overwhelm you,
too far
and they abandon you.
Leks Dec 2013
Sublime wildflower*
Why do you find a way to make my heart bleed like this?
Tears purple from the nebula of dying stars fall down my face as I try find reasons to carry on.
With thoughts over thought,
you appear as one.

I pour myself into you not because the feeling of vulnerability entices my mind/soul but because I am angry and tired,
Furious and exhausted to be exact.

Under the water I scream so loud but the silence surrounds me
But you hear it loud and clear so you fall in the deep and you always find me.

Its raining outside as I write this to you.
Stop. Just stop.
Leks Dec 2013
Sublime wildflower.*
My Soul.
Each time my voice box stretches.
Each time my stomach decides to make sounds like it’s angry.
Each time my heart beats twice as fast
Each time my blood moves at a rapid rate.
Each time my body body shakes, causing a tremor to my mind
Each time my soul screams
Each time the sounds passing through my ear,can’t be heard.
Is all the times I think about you.
How the sands of time fell each time I felt closer to you. Losing myself in, in someone who just was never there. My mind likes the thought of you, while my heart turns black at from hearing your name. My soul hates you since it has some of you in it.

Can I just have all the pieces of my soul back already?
You can have them back as soon as my heart heals for you.
My heart/soul devotes itself to you
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