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Kiki Ausburn Dec 2015
Maker of the Atomic Bomb

Give me all you’ve got,
Don’t hold back.
I grew up learning how to hide,
Figuring out how to stop others,
from seeing the real me.
I can take it.

I can take it for days,
I can hide it for weeks.
You can tell me everything you don’t like,
show me all the things you hate.
I can take it.

Show me how awful I am,
You’ve always been good at it.
I won’t try to defend myself,
I won’t tell you you’re wrong.
I can take it.

Don’t worry about me,
I’ll be okay.
I will believe what you say,
I always do.
I can take it.

I know you don’t mean to,
And if you do, I know it makes you feel better.
Whatever you do,
I’ll still be here for you.
I can take it.

Years later,
I’ll still be there.
I’ll still care about you,
Even when the whole world is against you, I’ll be there for you.
I can take it.

You can try to show me my faults,
But I see more of them than you do.
I’ll listen as you tell me how horrible I am.
As much as you hate me, I hate myself more.
I can take it.


Just remember that though I can take it,
It’s still there.
A burning ember in my brain.
I’ll think about it for hours.
I can take it.
Because one day I will explode,
Everything you’ve ever said to me will force its way out.
There will be no stopping it.
It will be seen everywhere, stabbing you in the heart.
I can take it.

I am an atomic bomb.
I will be calm and collected, until I’m not.
Everyone will be affected.
There will be debris everywhere,
And no one will be the same again.
I can take it.

I am an atomic bomb.
Violent and harmful,
Leaving scars for years to come.
I can take it.

Look out.
You will be hurt more than most.
Because I’m made out of everything you’ve ever said to me.
You’re that part of me,
The part that causes the explosion.
You’re standing right outside the blast zone.
There’s no chance of you getting hurt,
But you’ll get to see what you did,
You’ll see the monster you created.
You won’t be okay.
I won’t be able to take it.

But for now,
I’ll be fine.
For now I can keep it all inside.
I’ll hide all the hurt.
I can take it.



For now

— The End —